Life Can't Break Me
by Idon'twriteIleak
Summary: Karissa Davenport is used to pushing people away, but when she meets an intriguing and disheveled scientist will she be able to let him in? Contains mild language, fluff, and smut. Bruce/OC and hints of Pepperony.
1. Chapter 1

*DISCLAIMER: I own only the character Karissa. I do not own any Marvel characters, the setting, or Avengers.

After New York she had been desperate for a new job and possibly some therapy. It was like something straight out of a nightmare. I had been working at Stark Industries, after New York, I wasn't sure I wanted to stay on. I still had nightmares about it. I hadn't been in any immediate danger, my apartment wasn't close to Stark Tower. I couldn't afford to, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I could have been. I could have gone into work. I could have been caught in the middle of that.

I stopped before the glass doors and looked up at the self-sufficient building. Tower was the right name for it. I took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders back before I walked inside. I slid my ID card through the reader and walked right past the secretary to the elevator. I got in the elevator with the normal morning rush. Slowly everyone got off at their respective floors until only I remained. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I stepped out onto the floor, falling easily into routine. I put my stuff down in my office. I small room with a connecting door to an exam room.

Stark Tower was home to all Stark's projects, everything from renewable energy, to genetics, to his Iron Man suit, as well as being the hub of his business. I wasn't here completely for science as you would think when you saw me in my lab coat. I gathered my portable case of equipment and grabbing a quick file I headed back to the elevator. I pressed one of the topmost buttons for the penthouse.

"I'm sorry, It's going to require identification for that action."

"Jarvis. You already know my clearance level."

"Protocol Dr. Davenport." I sighed and swiped my ID card would start. A satisfying ding took me up.

"Thank You Jarvis." I stepped onto the floor of a high-class home in contrast to the floors of R&D below me.

"Pepper is with Tony in the lab, would you like me to alert them of your arrival?"

"That's fine Jarvis." I waited in front of the elevator for Pepper to come find me.

"Can I help you with anything?" I turned startled, to see a man coming up the steps from the lab. He was tall, over six foot. His dark hair slightly salt and peppered. He took off a pair of thick framed glasses as he spoke. I was flustered, expecting to see Pepper emerge.

"No I, just here to see Pepper. I didn't mean to be a nuisance." He continued to step toward me.

"No, you're fine." He chuckled, setting his glasses down on the bar.

"You work in the labs?"

"No, I'm a Doctor actually." He nodded knowingly.

"Ah, you work in R&D?" I pursued my lips and nodded.

"Sort of." I chuckled at my own inside joke, my eyes shining with merriment.

"I don't recall seeing you around." He gently prodded in an effort to find out more about me. Butterflies tickled the sides of my stomach as he moved nonchalantly over to talk to me.

"Well probably because you are not really my area of expertise." I couldn't help but smirk at his confusion. I knew I should be mature about the whole thing, be he was so attractive I found myself flirting with him, bringing out my snarky side.

"I'm an Obstetrician and Gynecologist." I laughed. He scratched the back of his neck.

"I run a practice for employees and do research in the labs for Stark Industries." I clarified, finally being mature about the whole situation, knowing I had got to him. I smiled kindly, to show him I was just teasing.

"Dr. Davenport, Pepper will see you now."

"That's me." I readied to follow Jarvis's call. I held out my hand to him, the other clutching the handle of my briefcase.

"Dr. Banner. Bruce." He took it and shook. My stomach fluttered and I timidly shook back.

"Karissa."

I willed myself not to look back, I clutched the handle of my briefcase till my knuckles turned white from lack of circulation.

"Good morning Pepper." I set my bag down on the desk.

"So what's going on?" I wasn't getting right down to business. Pepper and I had become friends and I honestly wanted to know. I sat casually in the chair across from her, in front of the desk.

"I just need a new birth control prescription." I pulled out her file.

"Seasonale, right?" She nodded and I pulled out my pad and scrawled out the prescription in my Doctor's scratch.

"Any side effects? Problems?" She thought about it for a minute.

"No. I'm good." I signed the paper and tore it off the pad, handing it over to her.

"Anything else?"

"Nope, I think I'm set." She turned back and forth in her chair. I put my stuff back in my briefcase.

"So who's this Dr. Banner?" I tried to pass of non-nonchalantly. Pepper eyed me skeptically.

"What?" I sighed defensively.

"He works with Tony." She said in her businesswoman voice that she used when she wanted to drop a subject. I knew that was all the information she was going to give me. I nodded and picked up my bag, trying to remain aloof.

"Karissa…" Pepper warned when she saw my face.

"All right, I'll drop it." My shoulders fell as I walked away.

"He's taken isn't he?" I blurted turning to face her. Pepper rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Okay, okay!" I laughed as I walked to the door. "See you Sunday." Pepper nodded, already engrossed in her work as I closed the door behind me.

* * *

I hurried up to Pepper's office, she had called me in abruptly. Jarvis didn't even try to argue with me. I hurried into my office.

"What is it?" I nearly panted.

"Why does Tony think I'm pregnant?" She asked somewhere between anger, caution, confusion, and impatience, holding up her phone which had a text message from Tony on it. Classic Tony, texting to find out if his girlfriend is pregnant.. I stepped forward slowly, hands up.

"I have no idea. Do you have something you want to tell me?" She looked at me like I was stupid.

"No, do you?" She asked accusing.

"Pepper to my knowledge you are not pregnant. Now are you going to tell me what's going on?" She sighed and fell back in her chair.

"I don't know Tony just randomly texted me convinced I was pregnant. I told him I'm not but he won't listen. He said he has a source." She stared at me, waiting for me to fill in.

"And you thought I was the source." I said as I fell back into my own chair across from her.

"What could have made him so sure I was pregnant?" She raised her hand to her forehead, needing her furrowed brows. Suddenly she bolted up, mortified.

"What if he somehow pregnancy tested my pee?" I laughed and coaxed her back into her chair.

"I don't think so. Who would he trust that much to tell him something like that?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"I don't know. I means there's Happy, Me, You, Bruce-" She stopped abruptly looking up at me.

"You think Dr. Banner did this?" I asked, incredulous. I thought about it for a minute before closing my own eyes with a groan.

"I ran into Dr. Banner on my way to our appointment and I told him I was an Ob/Gyn. Then Jarvis called me in. He must have assumed that I was there because you were pregnant." I groaned. Men.

"I'll call Tony and tell him not to put too much stock in information about his wife from another man." I chuckled.

"I got to get back to work. I was in the middle of an experiment when you called me up."

"Sorry." She shrugged her shoulders and I brushed it off.

"I'll see you later."

* * *

"Shall we be heading home today?" Jarvis asked as I got in the elevator.

"No, I'm heading to Pepper and Tony's today." I summer dress, nervously, fiddling with the buttons of my cardigan. I rarely wore heels, I stood a lot at work, but I wore a pair of nude heels with a thin gold heel. I wore slacks and a nice silk shirt everyday, it was a relief to wear something more casual.

"Yes, Dr. Davenport. I'll inform them of your impending arrival." Oh, now he complied with my requests. I almost laughed. No one talked like Jarvis, but hey he was an AI. Well, I'd heard rumors about Thor. I knew the Avengers met at Stark Tower, but other than than Tony, I'd never met them. The doors of the elevator opened on the top floor of Stark Tower.

"Karissa!" Pepper welcomed me with a warm hug. I smiled at her as Tony sauntered up from the dining room.

"How's it going Gynie Squad?" Pepper closed her eyes and took a breath,clearly exasperated.

"Well, judging by my appointment with Pepper things are still going good for you." Pepper cringed a little and Tony continued to glare at me.

"Sorry Pep." I gave her an apologetic look. She let out a pained sigh and waved a hand to show she was fine. Tony scowled.

"Shut it Gynie Squad." I rolled my eyes and followed Pepper to the dining room.

"If you think my job is so useless why do you keep me hired?"

"Pepper obviously." I laughed. I didn't take any of it personally. It was more of a compliment than anything.

"Thank God for Pepper then or I'd be out of a-" Dr. Banner was standing in the dining room, helping set the table.

"Dr. Banner." I unvoluntarily said. He looked up at me, equally started. Tony stepped between us.

"Wait, you two know each other?"

"No." I rushed into what he was saying.

"Yes." Bruce said.

"Well, sort of." I finished. Tony looked back and forth between us, clearly confused.

"We briefly met." Bruce clarified. I smiled weakly at him in gratitude.

"You are so weird." He finally said to me before sitting down. I sat down next to pepper across from Bruce.

"So how long have you been working here?" Bruce started me by directing his question at me.

"Oh, uh, about a year."

"So before the attack?" I swallowed hard and answered hesitantly.

"Yes, before the attack." I nodded. He seemed just as tense talking about it.

"That long Gynie?" Tony cut in, obviously aware of the tension, for once I was glad to hear that awful nickname.

"You haven't run me off yet, I know, it's a miracle."

"Well, I'm just going to have to work harder than." He joked. Before I had a chance to reply Bruce passed me the asparagus.

"What about you?" He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat when I asked him, looking to Tony and Pepper out of the corner of his eye.

"Just after the attack."

"Have you known Tony long?" He smiled like that was some sort of inside joke that I wasn't in on.

"Oh I knew of the Starks long before I ever met him. We met shortly before New York." The subject seemed to make him almost bitter so I quickly changed the subject.

"Well, lucky you to be graced with the acquaintance of the great Tony Stark." Bruce chuckled, lightening up again.

"Why Karissa!" Stark said as he clutched his hand to his heart. "I do believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" We all laughed and returned to the meal.

"This calls for a drink." Bruce rolled his eyes.

"With you Stark, what doesn't?" He winked at me and me breath caught, I looked down at the napkin in my lap, feeling warmth spread through my cheeks. Tony lifted his glass of red wine off the table and held it up.

"To whatever constitutes the opportunity to drink." He brought it to his lips and we all laughed. Pepper gently sipped her wine as she ate, but I didn't touch mine.

"Hey Goldilocks, what's with the abstinence? Drink up!" He said as I ate. I glanced up at Bruce, having been avoiding doing so. His place hadn't even been set with wine.

"I don't drink Tony, besides I we all drink this is going to turn into some incoherent alcohol fest." Tony set down his silverware to look at me. His face read as are you kidding me. I wished I was, but I didn't mix well with alcohol. I liked it alright, but I got buzzed easy. However, after that it took a while for me to really get drunk, but drunk people got stupid.

"This is a $300 bottle. Drink the damn wine." He wasn't mad, just exasperated. I looked down at my plate, embarrassed at the spectacle I was causing. Pepper and I had grown to be good friends while I worked here. She knew more about me than anyone at the table. I felt a gentle hand rest on my arm as she removed the glass from in front of me and set it in front of her own plate. I looked up silently thanking her apologetic eyes.

"You guys are no fun!" Tony said as he picked up his utensils again. I gave a half-hearted smile and returned to my own food.

"I beg to differ, I hear that Dr. Banner has quite the knack for rumors." He nearly choked on his water. Coughing and sputtering.

"Excuse me?" He asked indignantly when he could speak again.

"It seems we're not the only ones who shouldn't be drinking tonight. Pepper don't you have something to tell us. Something you're Ob should surely know?" Bruce turned bright red and Pepper burst out laughing, I wasn't far behind.

"It's all right. I get it a lot. Most people think I'm just a baby doctor." Bruce barely looked up from his plate.

"At least I know you're on the squad, Gynie." Tony chuckled and Bruce took a peek over at him. I winked and he went back to his food.

"I'm hoping you have some $300 dessert to go with this meal." I changed the subject, giving Bruce some reprieve from his embarrassment.

"Let me walk you out." Bruce said. I blushed and followed him to the elevator.

"I know you are not really in my clientele, but maybe you could come down and check out the lab sometime." I gave a fake look of pride. "I'm working on an earth-shattering experiment. It's going to change the face of science." I said with a laugh, no longer able to keep up the farce.

"You shouldn't demean your own work, I'm sure whatever it is it really is amazing." I blushed under his unrelenting but tender gaze. His brown eyes were warm and inviting.

"I guess you'll just have to come and see." I quipped as the elevator doors opened.

"I think I'll have to take you up on that offer." He smiled down at me again and I blushed as I looked away.

"Goodnight, Dr. Banner."

"Goodnight, Dr. Davenport." I turned to look at him one last time.

"Karissa."

"Karissa." I turned to climb in the care Tony had waiting for me so Happy could take me home.


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: IMPORTANT

I don't have the transition between the time that Bruce meets Karissa till when their relationship blossoms yet, but I thought it was better to post the rest than keep you guys in the dark.

ALSO, there is a POV change, I'm experimenting with 3rd person.

* * *

Bruce could feel her smile on his lips between each kiss. His hand cupped the nape of her neck pulling her up into the kiss, his other doing the same around her waist. It was innocent and the other guy stayed back. As long as they kept it like this he would be fine. He settled into the kiss, only to feel a wave of shock go through him as she flicked her tongue out to skim his bottom lip. He kissed her a little bit harder, a little less light-hearted. She gently tugged on his lip with her teeth. He sucked in a breath and he felt her grin as she kissed him again, leaning into him, hands in his hair. She was so short compared to him that to kiss him she had to stretch up, pressing against him so as she moved with the kiss she gently rubbed into him. His hand slid up her back between her shoulder blades as the kiss got more soulful. He slid his tongue into her open, playful mouth. A delicious "mmm" escaped her lips and he went deeper, teasing her tongue. She clutched his neck harder and pulled into the kiss, the fabric of his shirt riding up as she moved upward. He groaned inwardly before sliding his hand down from her back to her thigh and in one swift motion he scooped her up and deposited her onto the lab table as he kissed her. She was still smiley, he could feel it. She pushed his tongue back, letting her own erotically stroke his mouth. His hand tightened in her hair and the other began to creep up her inner thigh. Another delicious sound from the back of her throat brought her hand from his neck down his chest. He felt the the faint whisper of her fingertips on his lower abdomen as she teased the hem of his shirt up, her hands slipping under brushing over his lean muscles. Her touch was unbearable, she was playing with him. Moving torturously slow and faint, just teasing his senses. She kissed the corner of his mouth trailing her moist, parted lips down his neck to his collarbone. He tilted his head back as her lips stopped there, a ghost of a smile against his skin before she latched on the the protruding bone and sucked. His body erupted with pleasure. Her tongue traced the line and he nearly groaned as she stopped. She looked at him and smirked, his eyes full of desire. She held his gaze, parting her lips ever so slowly before she let her breath follow her trail. Her eyes were locked on his, which he closed abruptly as her breath ignited everywhere her tongue had been. Desire twisted in the pit of his stomach. The other guy threatened to come out. His head pounded as he tried to keep control. He moved more aggressively, play time was over. She was playing the seductress, but he would make her wanton. He tore the buttons of his shirt open so her hands could easily slip over his skin. His hand went to the back of her neck, slipping her head back and the other brought her lower back to him, arching her backward so her chest pushed against his. He kissed her jaw, aggressively tracing down her neck, she moved as she sighed and his attention was drawn from trying to find her sweet spot to the breasts that pulsed against his chest. His lips lingered on her neck for a moment, while his eyes trained on her breasts. For a moment he forgot the other guy, the struggle for control, she had entranced him. His lips moved down, down her chest until his lips brushed against the top of her breast. She gasped quietly, out of sheer surprise and pleasure, goosebumps erupted tantalizing his lips. She had never felt so alive. His hands moved to pull her shirt up and hers moved down to his belt buckle. Her touch followed the line of hair from his bellybutton, driving him over the edge. The wanting erupted and he felt the other guy start to break through, taking control. He cried out, unaware it had really escaped his lips. She pulled away, pushing against his chest to look him in the eyes, which were wrenched closed, exposing every worry line in his face. His hands clutched the table on either side of her.

"Bruce? Bruce are you okay?" He didn't say anything, as if in deep concentration. She brought her hand to rest on his cheek as platonically as possible.

"Bruce. We went to far. I went too far. I'm sorry. We're done. No more." They had both been jerked back to reality, grounded. She let her hand rest there and she could feel the pulsing of his blood slow. His face began to relax, but still her hand rested there until she knew he was back and totally calm. She slipped down of the table and slipped under his arm to leave.

"Karissa, wait." I stopped and turned back to face him, but he hadn't moved.

"I'm sorry." Even with his eyes closed she could see the hurt he felt. She knew he felt ashamed, like less of a man.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." The ghost of his touch still traced her body. Her voice was quiet, blending into the silence of the room, blending with the sound of their breathing. He couldn't see the ghost of a smile on her lips, but he could hear it in her voice and she could see it lifted a weight of his shoulders. She turned and left then, to slip into the darkness of her room and savor every feeling as she showered, the hot water making her long for Bruce's warm touch, his wet kiss, leaving Bruce bare-chested and beautiful in the lab.

* * *

The next morning she went to work knowing it would be hard to concentrate, her mind on nothing but Bruce. She needed to talk to him.

She filled out paperwork before her only appointment. She had never been embarrassed by her job. Which was saying something, but now she blushed at the thought. Her eyes had been opened to a whole new world.

As she finished up she made her way to R&D to check on her studies. She didn't notice Bruce come in. Usually she had a light air about her, humming while she worked, appearing to not be fully focused on her work, but her easy ways didn't detract from her work, she was incredible at her work, and didn't miss a thing. She was focusing on her specimen carefully documenting her observations on a clipboard, unusually concentrated. Bruce moved forward and she looked up, her eyes meeting hers before a blush crept into her cheeks and she looked back down.

"Hey there Big Guy." Her pencil continued to flick across the page. He opened his mouth to speak his breath catching as the sound was about to come out,

"You better not be coming here to apologize." She continued working, not looking at him. He shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"That's what I thought." She said more to herself than him, with a hint of satisfaction.

"Karissa." He sighed in silent surrender.

Finally she looked up at him.

"Why are you going to apologize for what you did like it was bad? Is that what you think?" She looked him in the eyes, but she still wasn't angry, just slightly exasperated, and apprehensive. He could see it in her eyes, the tiny bit of fear.

"No. No, of course not." He stepped forward and cupped her cheek in his hand. She nuzzled into it. Neither one was really upset, but the longing that crossed between them caused the pit of her stomach to wrench.

"I know. We went too far."

Bruce hesitated- "It's not just that. We have to be more careful now. He'll get set off more quickly now. I mean, well, I'll uh, get more...easily...uh…more aroused… that I've had a taste."

"Thank you." She whispered into his hand. His brow furrowed and she blushed knowing she would have to explain.

"I never got around in high school. I never fell for that high school romance stuff, and then in college I was so focused on school. I had a lot of it." Her blush deepened and Bruce began to realize what she was telling him.

"I had boyfriends, but it just never, and we never…I've only done it once...so thank you." She looked down and started to turn back to her work.

Bruce gently lifted her face to his and leaned down to their mouths exchanged breaths, tantalizingly, parted from each other before closing the distance, capturing her mouth with his. It was a deep, emotion-filled kiss, each of them hungry for the other, for more than their bodies, but for who they are. Bruce's lips led hers slow and methodically and she let herself be dominated by him, utterly lost in him.

"They'll never know what they missed." He said before kissing her once more. She smiled against him and he hungered for those lips. He wanted to be the only one to feel her smile, not just see it.

"Don't Hulk out on me baby." she said with a sly grin as she turned back to her work. He chuckled, happy to see the weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but wanting to feel those lips again, all over him. She was content on her work though and he knew they would have to talk later. He turned to leave. Karissa's arm reached out and gave him a sound swat on his butt that sent a shock through his body and he sucked in an erotic breath.. He hastily turned around but she was engrossed in her work, looking far too devoted to it. He eyed her suspiciously but she just continued humming seductively, her eyes on her culture. Finally he turned and left for the elevator, grateful for the privacy to get his heart rate under control. The Hulk would not make a good love making partner, he was sure. Besides that, he wanted to be fully conscious when he got her back.


	3. Chapter 3

Karissa tied her hair back as she worked. Her mind occasionally slipping from her work to...elsewhere. She remembered the fire in her stomach as he held her the craving. She didn't just want the sex, she wanted to be with Bruce. To really be able to be with him. She wanted to show him how much she trusted him. She loved the way Bruce teased her, but she loved playing seductress. It came natural to them, the flow of things. She smiled remembering his hands slipping under her shirt. Her blush pulled her from her thoughts. She had stayed longer than she'd thought. She cleaned up and grabbed her stuff to leave, knowing most everyone would be gone by now, except Bruce. Bruce lived there. She bit back a smile, desperately wanting to be with him. She looked at the buttons on the elevator.

"Dr. Davenport may I be of assistance?" Jarvis said. She looked down at her ID card. Then at the buttons, before she could change her mind she clicked the high clearance button.

"Should I inform Miss Potts of your arrival?" Jarvis said, but I knew better than to fall for his feigned innocence.

"This isn't business Jarvis." She couldn't hold back her smile anymore. Good thing she'd worn her favorite underwear.

She knocked on the door, fidgeting as she waited for a response.

"Jarvis who is it?" She heard.

"I believe you'll want to open it sir." She heard footsteps shuffling across the floor, the door knob turned and then opened to reveal Bruce shirtless, in plaid pajama pants.

"Hey." A goofy grin was all she could manage. She could see Bruce's chest rising and falling.

"I'm not going to try anything, I promise. I just want to be with you." Neither of them had moved, Bruce opened the door further so she could slip in. She was worried things would be unnatural between them now, but she felt the tension in the air dissipate.

Bruce went back into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth.

"How was work?" She called as She opened his drawer, looking for something she could wear to bed. she pulled out a purple button up, it would be a short dress on her.

"Good. Made some new discoveries about the genetic bases of some alleles." He said through his toothpaste. She couldn't hold back a quiet chuckle. she unzipped her pants, letting them slide the the floor before stepping out of them. She pulled her shirt up over her head, loosening the makeshift bun in her hair as it strained through the whole. She grabbed the button down and slipped it over her shoulders.

"I think we may have located the gene for-" He walked in as she was buttoning the second button from the bottom. She was wearing a light pink bra with a lace back and a little nude colored bow with matching panties. She was fit, with just enough curves to grab hold of. She was probably flexible too. He tried not to stare, but there she was, straight out of a dream, wearing his shirt, in those tantalizing panties. She bit her lip shrugging apologetically.

"Sorry?" She finished buttoning the buttons as she walked to the bed. He watched her hips sway as she walked, her fit legs, he round ass poking out. Bruce felt his body calling out for her. He took a deep breath hoping his arousal wouldn't show.

"I didn't really realize how awkward my job is today. I mean seriously, I end up knowing about every female's sex life in this place." She chatted as she headed to the bed, slipping beneath the sheets too soon, ruining Bruce's view. Bruce sighed and followed her to the bed.

"And you know what else? I never realized how awkward it is to hear men bragging about their coming baby. It ends up coming off as like, 'Look what I made' or 'Ya that's right we got it'." She chattered. He couldn't help but laugh.

"I mean some of the people here may me glad I'm practically a twenty-eight year old virgin." She cuddled up in the blankets. Karissa hated the cold. She always refused to wear socks to bed though because she liked to stroke the sheets with her feet, but more often than not she would rub them against anything in bed. She was honestly happy, nuzzling her head into the pillow. Bruce matched her. Man did he love the girl laying next to him. Her humor which sometimes bordered on self-deprecating, her confidence, her fearlessness, her intelligence, her body didn't hurt either.

She stretched out, trying to get a comfortable position. She was restless when she slept. Her feet reached out under the blanket until they found Bruce's leg she stroked it with her foot as she scooted closer, curling up against his chest, her pink bra peeking out of the neck, she should have buttoned the last button. She wiggled a bit more before sighing, settling in quietly next to him as her foot continued to run up and down his leg.

Bruce leaned down and kissed her forehead, letting his arm fall over the top of her, pulling her to him, her hot breath on his pectorals was a little piece of heaven.

"I started a new project at the lab." She nuzzled her nose closer to him, like a kitten. Her eyes were closed and her voice was drowsy. Bruce found he was content as well, his eyes fluttered as he tried to listen to her.

"Is that so?" She rarely talked about her experiments with him after work, she liked to leave work at work, so he wondered what made this one special.

"What-what are you up to?" He asked, but when he opened his eyes she was already asleep, her even breaths on his chest, her foot still over his leg.

Bruce woke with a start. His pulse was racing and his eyes shot open looking for the cause. Karissa was sound asleep beside him, albeit in a completely different position. She moved around a lot. She was on her back, her arms spread out, her hips twisted so that one leg rested against him and the other was slung over his hips. Something cold touched his back and he sprang up with a start. He looked down, only to see Karissa's foot had been resting on him. He took a deep breath, almost chuckling if the other guy hadn't been so startled. He stood up and went to the dresser and picked out some socks, slipping them on her frigid feet. She squirmed a little in her sleep but when he got back in her body naturally melded to him. Still back down her legs slipped over his like a stack of pillows when you're elevating an injury. Sleeping with her was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

Bruce woke up in the morning to the cold nipping his feet. He checked to see if the blanket covered his feet, Karissa had practically torn it off the bed. He smiled and sighed when he saw the socks wrinkled at the bottom of the bed. Karissa's head rested against his chest and their feet tangled together at the end of the bed. He sighed and kissed the top of her head, carefully slipping away to take a shower. His shirt was twisted around her body from her turning exposing her entire bottom half. Bruce groaned and shut his eyes. Shower, he needed to shower.

Karissa woke up shivering. The sheets were sprawled all over the bed except for her. One measly leg had found it's way under. She hated being cold. Especially in the morning. She turned to curl up to Bruce, but the bed was empty, leaving only an imprint of him in the sheets. The sun shone in the window, but she could still see the bathroom light was on and she could hear the shower. She sighed and layed there taking it all in. Something Bruce didn't want her to do. He wanted her up and dressed by the time he got out otherwise...that bedhead…

Finally she turned her head to look at her clothes on the floor.

"Great." She scoffed. She would be performing the walk of shame. Oh well, it's not like anyone she worked with cared. They wanted to get out there as soon as possible. Their sex lives were literally on display. Wearing next morning clothes would be nothing in comparison. It wasn't like she slept with him anyway. Finally she talked herself out of bed with a sigh. She was already up and gathering her stuff when Bruce came out. He dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, something she wasn't used to. His wet hair was curling, it was mind-numbing resisting the urge to run her fingers through it.

"Good morning kitten." He said as he came out, steam following him. She smiled, but she hadn't completely shrugged off the sleepiness.

"Eh." She shrugged, but Bruce knew her sense of humor. She smiled and laughed a little and he couldn't help but smile back.

"It is a good morning." She said, she said as she reached up on the very tips of her toes to give him a peck on the lips before going into the bathroom to change. Bruce walked over to the bed chuckling as he picked up the crumpled socks.

"I know I'm wearing the walk of shame clothes, but looking at that bed you'd think we actually had sex." He heard her say behind him. She laughed as she came out the bathroom to sit on the edge of the bed, digging in the purse for something.

"Well at least you don't have to go in today." He chuckled as he attempted to straighten out the sheets with her still sitting on the bed. She gave him a confused look as she pulled a portable toothbrush out.

"Saturday." A look of utter relief and joy exploded onto her face. Bruce loved her youthful nature. She leapt up on the bed and threw her arms around him squeezing him as tight as she could before giving him a big kiss on his cheek. She hopped down and into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Bruce didn't think he'd ever seen a Saturday make someone so happy.

"You have any special plans?" Bruce asked as he finished making the bed and throwing the socks in the hamper. She leaned her head out of the bathroom doorway.

"Do you?" She raised an eyebrow suggestively, the toothbrush still hanging out of her mouth. She was the only person he knew that could look sexy with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

"Ya, getting you a rabies vaccination." He restrained a moan as he watched her tongue flick out and lick the froth from her lips as she slipped back into the bathroom with a giggle.

"How about...well to tell the truth I'm not quite sure what to do in New York, or rather what I can do." Bruce said sitting on the edge of the bed as he put his shoes on. He heard the sink run and she came out again.

"Well, I gotta stop by my apartment."


	4. Chapter 4

SWITCH POV (got tired of third person)

* * *

I smiled to myself as I rinsed out my toothbrush. I wanted this. The easiness of their relationship. I wanted to wake up like this everyday. I turned to leave, toothbrush in hand, then turned back to the sink hesitantly. I looked from the sink to my toothbrush. Would it be too presumptuous to leave it there? Part of me wanted to leave it there, to mark him, as a possessive gesture. The other told me not too, I didn't want to rush things, to scare him. It scared me too. I let thoughts of my worst fears play out. I had spent my whole life playing it safe, to not get hurt and where did that get me? Spending twenty eight years alone. I sucked in a breath and before the impulse of determination and courage left me I laying the toothbrush on the counter and walked out. I felt victorious as I marched out of the bathroom like it was a battle field.

Bruce finished tying his shoe as I came out. His muscles straining slightly as he bent down and pulled the strings tight. I bit my lower lip a smile teasing the corner of my lips. I leaned on the doorway to watch him. He grabbed his wallet of the nightstand and shoved it in his pocket. I moved from the doorway and picked up my purse.

"I better get to my apartment then." Crossing my arms loosely at my chest we both stood facing each other, me at the base of the bed and him at the head. I bit my cheek lightly, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"Do you need a ride?" I looked up at him and smiled.

"Why, are you offering? Some how I don't see you in New York traffic working out." Bruce chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, his bicep flexed, drawing my attention. I loved to tease him, I felt young and free with him, like I'd never been hurt.

"If you want you can come with though, I'm sure we can find some part of New York were the big guy isn't constantly threatening to come out." I quipped. Our banter came easy, but in reality butterflies tickled my stomach whenever I was around him. I mustered all my courage to ask him. He met my eyes looking into them deeply, like he was trying to figure me out, like he could see all the parts of me, causing my cheeks to dust with pink and the corner of my lips to turn up.

"I don't know how you do it." I must have shown my confusion on my face because he clarified.

"You see the worst parts of me and yet you stay. You stay and you smile and you only care about the good." His brow furrowed as he said it and his eyes continued to search mine. It make my heart pound.

"So are you up for leaving then?" I gave him a confused expression trying to change the subject, but he was unfazed. I gave a half-smile and sighed.

"There is so much darkness inside of everyone Bruce, including me. If we let that become our focus it would consume us. You are hard enough on yourself, you don't need everybody else to be. Why ruin the good things in life by focusing on the little things. You can spend days at a time bunkered down in the lab, but if I was caught up on that it would ruin the time we did have together. It makes you who you are. If I care about you than I care about that too. There's too much hurt in the word, why create more?" I hadn't meant to let so much spill out. Bruce seemed to be taking it all. He took a step toward me and I resisted the urge to move away. I felt exposed. His eyes were so tender it almost made me uncomfortable. I was so used to keeping to much locked up inside even letting this little philosophy out felt like a personal security breach.

"Someone really hurt you before, didn't they?" I avoided his eyes, but he moved his head with mine to maintain eye contact. He took this as a yes. He was a scientist after all he had put two and two together. I wasn't used to getting so close to a person, letting them in. In truth I was a coward, always running from love, until it finally caught up to me.

"It was a long time ago." Bruce reached out and brushed the back of his fingers against my cheekbone. I sighed into his chest. All the smiles and bubbliness of earlier having dissipated.

"For so long all love meant to me was coerced affection and eventually hurt. A shallow way to not be alone. But who hasn't been hurt?" I shrugged, playing it off like it wasn't a big deal. I had locked so much so deep inside I was afraid to let any of it truly out. I looked back up to meet Bruce's eyes. I could see the empathy, but I was glad I didn't see pity. I gave an unconvincing, sad smile. He brought his hand up to my cheek again, and I nuzzled into it.

"I've spent so long pushing people away, running away if I started to let them in too much. I've spent my whole life afraid of love. I go to work and there are women in love all over and my heart aches because I know it's something that I will never have." I couldn't understand why someone could love me, how they could accept me with all my quirks and baggage. I moved away from him now, tactfully recomposing myself. I swallowed back the emotions that were all tangled up in my throat, plastering a smile on my face, nothing like the genuine one I usually wore.

"Well, you ready to head out?" Bruce's eyes reflected the hurt I had buried deep down inside, stirring the feelings once again. I cleared my throat and smoothed my shirt. I could tell Bruce was having an inner battle, debating whether pursuing the subject or letting it drop was better.

I slipped my purse onto my shoulder and walked to the door, placing my hand on the door knob. I paused, closing my eyes and feeling my breaths deep within me. Then slowly, I turned the door knob and opened the door.

"Come on Big Guy, daylights burning." I gave him a weak but genuine smile and he pulled from his thoughts to follow me.

* * *

Happy was in the front seat with Bruce and I sitting in the back. First thing I did was snap my seatbelt. Bruce chuckled. I looked at him, surprised.

"What?" He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Nothing. It's just funny. You're buckling your seatbelt but you're going to spend most of the time parked anyway with New York traffic." I laughed. He slid in and shut the door behind him.

"Let's go Happy." He leaned forward as he said. I crossed my arms, waiting for him to buckle his seatbelt. He looked over at me as he sat back and I raised an incredulous eyebrow in mock anger. Well,l mock anger that stemmed from concern.

"Oh come on!" I just pursued my lips and faced forward.

"No, it's fine, but if some crazy taxi rams into us and you go flying, I'm not going to feel bad." He groaned.

"Okay, seriously? I think I'll be okay. Big, green rage monster remember?" I just stuck my chin in the air and looked out the window. Bruce laughed and I couldn't keep it up anymore. I laughed too.

"Ladies and gentleman we are entering lower Manhattan." I announced as we neared my apartment. Bruce had been watching out the window.

"Kind off a long commute." He said as he turned his attention to me. I was glad to see that he wasn't still caught up on our earlier discussion. I shrugged.

"Girl's gotta deal. Besides, I'm trying to pay off my school loans from medical school." Bruce could understand that. Happy pulled up to my apartment building. I unbuckled and leaned forward.

"You don't have to stick around. We'll get a taxi I don't want you to have to wait for me to get ready." I told Happy as I opened me door.

"Thanks!" I said before shutting the door behind me and going up the apartment steps. Bruce followed behind me.

"It's not much, but it's home." I said as we climbed the steps.

"I only live in Stark tower because it's free. It's not like I'm used to the Taj Mahal." I laughed and inserted my key. I had worked out the perfect formula to get it to open, my landlord refused to replace the temperamental lock. I jiggled it to the right then thrust the knob up as I turned.

"And you say you're not good at rocket science." Bruce said with a laugh as the door finally swung up. I walked in, pushing the door shut with my hip after us. Bruce chuckled and it made me smile, realizing how ridiculous my little habits were.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to go change." My apartment was small, kitchen that joined with a living room separated by a bar. It was cozy, decorated with an eclectic style with different cultural influences. Even though Bruce had been here before, he'd never really been inside.

"You travel a lot?" Bruce called as I went into the adjoining room.

"No, actually. I've just had a lot of close friends from all over." I called as I went into my closet. Pulling a pair of jeans off the shelf and a Yankees baby doll tee. I shimmied out of my clothes and put on a new pair of underwear before putting the clothes on. I went into the bathroom and grimaced at myself in the mirror. I hurriedly washed my face and reapplied my makeup. My hair was still in a loose bun, fuzzy curls poking out. I took it out, letting the waist length, mousy-brown curls loose before going out to meet Bruce. He was wandering around the room looking at picture on pictures and books on my bookshelf I crammed on the far wall by an old, beat up piano. I waited in the doorway, silently watching him. His fingers brushed across the bindings of my favorite books. I only bought a book if I truly enjoyed it, so I had very few. He moved to the piano where pages were sprawled across the top and all over the music stand. I knew what he would see as he looked around. Pictures of me and my best friends in college, my family, and my happiest moments. The books were mostly classics and the music was too with a few things I had been working on. I wasn't one for keeping trinkets either, but I had a few here and there that were really meaningful. I felt a bit shy. This was my sanctuary. It held my deepest secrets. It told a story. Bruce finally noticed me in the doorway.

"You play? How come you didn't tell me?" I blushed and walked over, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"I guess there's more to me than meets the eye." I winked at him.

"Play for me?" I rocked on the balls of my feet. I rarely shared my talent, if ever. I looked up at him, and he seemed so genuine, so unjudgemental. I smiled and nervously sat down on the bench. I scooted over and patted the worn wood next to me. Bruce compiled by sitting down. I paused, my fingers arched above the keys and with a steady exhale, I let them come down. Out came a beautiful piece from Bach, my favorite composer. My fingers danced across the keys, stretching in front of Bruce. I played for a moment, but grew weary of the technical piece. Thinking fast, I quickly transitioned the piece to jazz. I pounded the keys letting my body move, my hair flicking around me. I couldn't help but smile. Finally, after a minute or two I ended with a crescendo. I laughed a little breathlessly and looked over at Bruce. He looked up from my fingers to me. His face made me laugh. He wore a shocked expression, truly mystified like he was still registering what had just happened.

"How did you learn to do that?" He looked back at my hands like they were the crown jewels or something.

"Years of lessons, lots of practice, and listening to records of my Great-Grandma playing for her band in the 40's." I caressed the keys I had grown to love. I hadn't felt the same in my early years when I had been forced to practice.

"It's amazing!" I laughed and stood up, making my way to the kitchen. My refrigerator was a collage of pictures, reminders, and take-out menus. I opened it up and pulled out a coke. I didn't offer one to Bruce, he didn't due caffeine for obvious reasons. He stayed on the bench.

"Bruce, you can keep snooping if you want." I said as I popped my coke open and pulled myself up to sit on the bar. He looked a little embarrassed, he might have even blushed a little. I smiled against the rim of the can as I took a sip. He stood up and moved to the little TV on a makeshift coffee table. He scanned the DVD's underneath. Period romances, chick flicks, documentaries, and a couple of action movies. He smiled and shook his head as he read the titles. I blushed as I noticed that I hadn't cleaned up from my usual habit of trailing clothes. A shirt was flung haphazardly over the lamp next to the TV. Bruce picked up the loose crop top and held it out to me, a smile threatening his lips. I shrugged, raising my eyebrows.

"At least it's not a thong?" I took another sip of my coke and almost choked as he pointed across the room to the couch. A thong was flung over the back.

"At least I cleaned most of it up?" Bruce laughed and flung the shirt over onto the couch. He walked into the kitchen and looked over the ornate fridge. I turned on the counter so I could watch. To my surprise he opened it. Then he moved to the cupboards. He came and slid onto the counter next to me and I took a sip of my coke as I turned to look at him.

"So what conclusion have you come to Doctor?" I looked at him apprehensively. He frowned in concentration before replying.

"You have a soft spot for romance, especially period romance. Your copy of Jane Eyre was especially worn, I'm guessing it's your favorite. You aren't much of a chocolate fan judging by your junk food stash consisting of sour gummy worms and hot cheetos. I'm assuming you're allergic to dairy by the looks of it. You obviously go for Coke over Pepsi, not to mention you're a Yankees fan. You haven't traveled much, but you desperately want to. And you have a habit of trailing clothes behind you." I blushed and he laughed. I straightened up trying to be as serious as I could be while being obviously kidding.

"So what does it all mean?"

"You're a romantic who's too grounded to let love in. You try and eat healthy but you have a sweet tooth and a chinese thing. Judging from your pictures people don't stay in your life too long, and you're afraid of abandonment. You don't want to be alone so you surround yourself with things that remind you of them and make you happy. You've turned your home into a sanctuary. You don't keep much, you could pack up quick by the looks of it. It's like you're anticipating change to make it easier." I swallowed.

"I guess that's what I get for letting a scientist into my apartment." I gave a half-hearted shrug. I wasn't upset, but it did shake me up for him to get it so spot on.

"Ya, but from the looks of things you like science." I smiled and took a sip of my Coke.

"Makes you wonder what you'd find out from my bedroom." I chuckled half into my Coke can. He raised a surprised and suggestive eyebrow. It brought out a grin, but my stomach seized innerly. He was right, my house was my sanctuary and my room was my inner chamber. It was a way of showing how much I cared to let someone in.

"Go ahead I said you could snoop." I went back to sipping my Coke. He cautiously got up and walked to my door I waited a second before following him. I sat on my bed, which was decidedly unmade. He looked at me for approval before entering my closet. I had a plethora of t-shirts from marathons and exercising. My work clothes consisted of dressy blouses and slacks, but I did own some scrubs. My pants were all in shelves and my shoes were organized on the floor. Other than an unmade bed I was extremely organized, well that and I occasionally trailed clothes after me if I got hot or just tired of wearing them. I also had lots of exercise gear. He came out and moved to the dresser on the wall between the bathroom and the closet doors. On top was a stack of cd's between two bookends. I knew CD's were dead, but I still liked them. My collection of CD's was sporadic. I had country because it reminded me of where I grew up, classical, jazz, blues, and a little bit of new stuff like Jack Johnson. My iPod was even worse. I had set down my keys on the dresser. There were four keys and a mickey mouse key chain. His fingers brushed over the knob of the dresser. He didn't open it and instead moved to the bathroom. I respected that he respected my privacy. He went in the bathroom and smelled the lotions and perfumes on the counter, ignoring the make-up. He lingered on one and I smiled, I would have to remember that. He passed my towel that was flung over the shower door and the bra I had worn the day before hanging out of the laundry basket. My night table had a lamp, a coaster, and my latest read and favorite book, Fahrenheit 451. My bed was disheveled with loads of blankets piled on. A ghost of a smile spread across his lips, the kind when you're remembering something. He moved back to the dresser.

"Bruce, we've practically slept together. You can look in it." I didn't want to have secrets with him. Not that there were any in my panty drawer, but it wasn't about a dresser drawer. He slowly opened the first drawer. It was the boring stuff, socks, sports bras, spandex. He ran his fingers over it. Lifting a sock filled with change up. He turned to look at me, his face speaking for him.

"What? Rainy day money." He put it back and shut to the door, moving to the second and last one. My breath hitched. It was my lingerie drawer. A slight blush touched both of our cheeks. I wanted to look away to give him privacy, so he wouldn't feel embarrassed. He gently sifted through the contents, his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. With one final caress he shut the drawer and stood up from his squat to sit on the bed next to me.

"You are fantastic you know that?" His voice was barely above a whisper as he leaned over taking my cheek in his hand and kissing me gently. I smiled as we broke apart.

"Ya, I know." I sipped my Coke and got up. I grabbed some TOMS from my closet and then grabbed my keys.

"Now that I've shown you my inner sanctum I want to show you my other sanctuary."


	5. Chapter 5

We walked out to the curb and I hailed a Taxi.

I whispered to the Taxi driver where we were going so that Bruce wouldn't hear, I wanted it to be a surprise.

"So where are we going?" I gave him my best mischievous look and swiped my fingers across my mouth zipping it shut.

"You know it might be a good idea to tell me so that I can mentally prepare myself. You know anger problems." I opened my zipped lips to laugh.

"You'll be fine." He looked beaten.

"It was worth a try."

"Yes, yes it was." I patted his hand and took another sip of my Coke. His fingers interlocked with mine

The Taxi pulled up to curb and I payed him. Bruce slid out the door, I slid out after him, still holding his hand. We stood in front of the New York Aquarium. I squeezed his hand in excitement and dragged him forward.

"I love this place. It's worth the price of admission to get the tranquility." I resisted the urge to touch the glass as we walked in a tunnel of water, one hand bound with Bruce's. He was watching me, taking in my face as I watched the fish wander past.

"I love the manta rays the best. You know the funny thing is I'm scared to death of water. I almost drowned as a kid and had to be resuscitated, but I love fish. I am fascinated by it all." I watched a ray swim over us and then met Bruce's eyes.

"Everybody should have a place." I whispered, wondering where his was. I wondered if he felt uncomfortable about opening up so much. For a moment I felt a familiar fear. I had let him in too much and now he would run away, or I would close up to keep from getting hurt if he did, then causing him to. I pushed it back. No, Bruce was different. I didn't want him to feel like he had to reciprocate though. I quickly changed the subject like I always did. Letting myself revel in the simple pleasure of the moment instead of waiting for the ball to drop.

"So, which fish is your favorite?"

"I'm really liking the big green one." He said.

"Where?" I turned excitedly to look for it. He chuckled. I like how it sounded, from his throat.

"I was kidding, but I really like that one." He pointed to a flamboyant fish.

"That's a lion fish. It's spines are poisonous. It camouflages with the coral."

"What's that one?" He pointed to a smaller, brightly colored fish.

"I don't know, read the plaque." I pointed to a plaque where I had gotten the information about the lionfish. We both laughed.

* * *

We got back to Stark Tower around one. Bruce had his own apartment in the top floors like a penthouse. I fell back onto the couch, snuggling back into the cushions. I sighed and closed my eyes. My stomach took the opportunity to let out a deep growl.

"Did you pick up a CD at the Aquarium of whale mating calls of was that your stomach?" Bruce heard me from the adjoining kitchen. I giggled through biting my lip.

"We forgot lunch."

"You forgot lunch." Bruce said as he walked over to me. My mouth dropped open in indignation.

"Well excuse me mister-" Jarvis cut me off mid-sentence.

"Miss Halverson from HR is at the door. She has the take-out you ordered." Bruce grinned wickedly.

"Thank you Jarvis." He went to the door and picked it up, setting it on the coffee table.

"You're a tease you know that?" He continued to smile as he pulled out two pairs of chopsticks and a box.

"But it's worth it." I broke my chopsticks apart and took a bite.

"Definetly." I said through a bite full of chicken.

"What do you have?" I asked as I took another bite.

"Chow mein." I licked my lips and I reached over and took a bite of noodles and he did the same. When I couldn't possibly eat one more bite I reached for my fortune cookie.

I popped it open with a satisfying crack and pulled out the little slip of paper.

"You will die tomorrow. Lucky numbers 5, 17, and 28. What? What kind of a fortune is that!" Bruce looked up in shock and I laughed.

"No, I'm kidding. It says, 'Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence'. I don't know how I feel about that quote. I guess I'll just have to not use my intelligence to psycho-analyze it." I laughed and turned to Bruce.

"What does yours say?"

"He who throws dirt is losing ground." I laughed, covertly slipping mine in my pocket, the movement drew Bruce's eye.

"I like to collect them." I blushed slightly from embarrassment. I had really let all my walls down today. It was strange and liberating.

"So what about you? What quirks do you have?" I settled into the couch, angling myself toward him, pulling my knees up to me and stroking the fabric of the couch with my bare foot. I could see Bruce watch my toes wiggle and it made me blush.

"I don't really know." He said after a moment of contemplation that wasn't spent enviously watching my foot caress the couch.

"What about how you always put both socks on before you put on your shoes." Bruce looked up at me, startled.

"I didn't even realized I did that. That's not really a big deal." I smiled at him.

"But it's a quirk. I put one sock and shoe on one foot at a time." I smiled. It was a relief to be able to be so open with him and not feel awkward like I was strange. I could really be myself, without having to be afraid to say whatever I wanted no matter how strange or silly. Bruce shook his head as he looked at me, in a sort of stunned reverence.

"You are really something."

"Yes I am." I agreed with a bubbly laugh that warmed me up from the inside.

"So who are you Bruce?" I looked at him seriously, but my eyes still twinkled with merriment, something that rarely went away.

"I'm a Doctor. I study gamma radiation. I, uh, I'm the Hulk." He seemed a little unsure about what I was getting at.

"Ya, but who are you?" I waited patiently as his brow furrowed and he lost himself in thought.

"I'm a haphazard collection of fear and hope. I'm afraid I'll hurt people, not that the Hulk will, although I'm afraid of that too. I'm afraid that Bruce Banner will. Sticks and stones break bones, but words break hearts. I'm afraid I'll be alone. I mean who isn't? But yet, I still have the gall to hope so I'm afraid that I'll get hurt. I guess you could say that Bruce Banner is a coward." He looked down at his hands. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped together. "I'm as man. I want the same things as everyone else."

"And what does that mean? I hate society norms. There is no such thing as normal. It's just an average of all the extremes. No two people are alike. So how can you want the same things as everyone else?" I wasn't normally so vocal about my personal philosophies I'd developed over the years.

"Because everyone wants to be loved and accepted. No one wants to be hurt. Because there is one thing that unites us all, the desire to be happy." I took in what he was saying, let it sink in. Isn't that what I wanted to be accepted, to be loved, and happy. I felt a stirring in the depths of myself, a longing to let go off all the hurt that I hid, all my cynicism that I tried so hard to hide.

"You can't avoid hurt Bruce." My voice bordered on bitter. He looked me straight in the eye, peering so deeply I thought he might find all that I kept locked away.

"Then how do you be happy?" The way he said it I knew that he really meant me. It was a direct question. He was trying to figure out how I dealt with all the hurt that I hid.

"You move on. You take today for what it is and never lose faith in tomorrow. Life sucks, it may not be okay, but you will be fine. We too often don't realize how much we are capable of getting past." I inhaled deeply. I looked past him out the window at the New York lights.

"Don't compare. 'Comparison is the thief of joy'. I guess I learned to love my life, because I had a choice, and I chose to be happy." We both sat in silence for a moment before I turned to look him square in the eye.

"So what do you choose?" I locked my eyes with his, watching as his thoughts played out, as I drew out little bits of him at a time. In that moment, during that conversation, we were uninhibited, free. It was as if a burden had been lifted off both of our shoulders.

"Hope. Life is always worth the pain." I could see something in his eyes, a darkness, a regret. My breathing was deep and concentrated as I searched, trying to see what he did.

"I didn't see an end. So I put a bullet to my mouth and the other guy spit it out." I felt my chest constrict. We were eye to eye and yet I could tell he was somewhere else entirely.

"Have you ever been surrounded by people, yet you are alone, untouchable. I had no where, no one. Only myself and the Other Guy." I finally dared to speak.

"What changed." He seemed to come back, his brown eyes consciously piercing deep into my own.

"I decided I have a purpose. I decided it was worth the hurt not to be alone." I reached out and cupped his face in my hand.

"You're not alone." I whispered with a wisp of a smile on my lips. I got up and grabbed the take-out sticking the leftovers in the fridge and throwing the trash away. Bruce stayed on the couch a minute, decidedly lost in thought. I let him think as I went into his bedroom and brushed my teeth, changing into one of his thin white button ups. My underwear was zebra print and it peeked through the material. I was looping my long hair into a loose knot on my head when he came in.

He went into the bathroom and came out a couple minutes later in his pajamas, this time wearing a shirt. He still seemed lost in thought, neither of us spoke.

"Is it worth the hurt not to be alone?" He said from the bathroom doorway. I knew he wasn't asking himself. He was asking me. I felt the memory of old wounds grip my heart. Everything inside me told me no. I didn't answer. Finally Bruce looked at me, realizing I wasn't going to answer. I continued washing my face with the wet rag before tossing it in the laundry bin. I went to the bed, still not speaking. Bruce followed me. My non-answer was an answer in and of itself. We both crawled into bed and he curled up behind me, pulling me close.

"Who hurt you so bad?" That morning I had been able to shake off the feelings that threatened to break the surface, but now I couldn't. I didn't have the strength to hold back the fear. His face rested beside mine so that he mouth was close to my ear, his breath causing the heart ache to flare up. I had told myself I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't close up, I wouldn't live in fear, waiting for the end. My breaths turned shaky as they passed through my parted lips.

His arm was wound around my waist, holding me to him. I felt so safe, and I desperately wanted to live in that moment. To let myself believe things could stay like this. Finally, the words bubbled out of me, heavy with heartache that gripped my soul.

"You're not going to leave me? You're not going to turn away now that I've showed you who I am, now that I've let you in and you've seen my most vulnerable parts?" The words shook with my breaths and I felt Bruce tighten his grip around me, but I continued to stare forward, paralyzed with fear.

"I'm not going to leave. I'm not going to lose faith in tomorrow." He whispered, gently kissing the shell of my ear. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks as I struggled between letting go of the past and living in that beautiful moment. I turned around so that I was facing him, our bodies pressed together, his hand on the small of my back, and my hands rested on his pectorals..

"I'm afraid that I will." I looked up at him my own brown eyes staring into his, tears slipping silently down my cheeks.

"I'll push you away. It's inevitable." I whispered, tears continuing down my cheeks.

"Then I'll just have to hold you close." He brought me to him, his other hand holding my cheek, his thumb tenderly caressing the tears away. My breaths came in quiet, shaky, shudders as I fell asleep in Bruce's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up curved against Bruce's body, my back to his chest. I took a deep breath, calming myself down, before over-reacting about the previous night. For now I needed to shower. I took my clothes into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. The hot water pelted my body, awakening every nerve ending and mercilessly stealing the last bit of the sleep from my body. I stayed in until the room was steamy and I felt that the melancholy had almost left me. I climbed out, quickly brushing my teeth, putting on my clothes from the day before and opening the door, letting in a gust of cool air, and letting out a steady stream of steam. I picked up the comb on the counter and flung my hair over one shoulder, gently starting at the ends and working my way up to get the tangles out.

Bruce came to the door, pushing it open just enough so he could get in. Our eyes met and I could tell he was checking to make sure I was alright. I didn't smile, but I knew that he knew I was alright. We could read each other. He moved across the bathroom to where I stood, and taking the comb out of my hands he moved my hair so that it fell down my back, slowly and gently he brushed it out. Finally he could run the comb through each section without any tangles. We stood in silence, neither of us moving. I turned to face him, reaching up so that my hand laced in his hair and leaned up to kiss him. His lips took my own before I pulled away to let him get ready. Bruce showered and came out in similar attire to the previous day. I was on the bed finishing my makeup when he came out. He moved to the bed beside me and putting both socks on first, he put on his shoes. I smiled as I watched him. His eye caught mine as he did so and he held it for a moment. A deeper connection binding us than ever before.

"I want to show you something." He said as he stood up. I gave him a quizzical expression hoping it would pull an explanation out of him, but he just smiled at held out his hand.

"Come on, let's go. Trust me." I smiled and took his hand, letting him pull me up.

* * *

"We're taking a plane?" My jaw dropped in disbelief. I stopped dead in my tracks in awe. Bruce chuckled and pulled me forward.

"Come on. It's Tony's private jet. We're not that far I promise." I stumbled forward, his hand gripping me excitedly.

"I never thought I'd see you excited to get on a plane." I laughed as I caught up to him as we neared the boarding stairs.

"Ya, me either." When we stepped inside it took my breath away. The luxe seats were nothing like I'd ever seen before. I delicately let my fingers run over the fabric as I walked forward, dropping Bruce's hand in my awe.

"You wanna come then?" I turned, still speechless, to face him. Giving a wordless nod. Bruce gestured to a seat.

"Shall we then." It took less than an hour to get there. We could have driven. When we landed Bruce grabbed a duffel and a car met us.

"I feel like movie star right now. Is this for real?" I laughed, but it came out disbelieving and breathless. Bruce leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Oh ya." He opened the door for me to get in the car.

"So where are we really going? Although I would be just as impressed if the plane ride was all you had planned." Bruce chuckled.

"Not exactly, he said as we pulled up to the beachfront. My body stiffened and I gripped the door handle.

"The beach we're going to the beach?" I squealed with excitement. Bruce unzipped the duffle bag between us and pulled out a pair of trunks which he set on his lap. Then he proceeded to pull out the top of what I presumed was my swimsuit. It was a blue midkini that I immediately loved.

"How did you know what to get?" A seductive grin teased his mouth.

"I looked through your lingerie remember?" I blushed and grabbed it out of his hands, but I couldn't contain my excitement.

"I love the beach!"

The bikini fit like a glove, but I should expect that, he was a scientist. He noticed the details. I walked out of the beach showers to meet him. He was waiting for me, his black shorts falling low on his hips, giving me a delicious look at him. I bit back a groan. His eyes roamed me up and down openly, and I blushed, resisting the urge to fold my arms in front of me. I walked forward to meet him and he leaned down and kissed me, a small groan on his own lips.

"I did good." He said, his lips still almost touching mine. I rolled my eyes and playfully pushed him away before grabbing his hand and going towards the water. We walked in so that the waves lapped our ankles. I giggled as we went in further and further. Then suddenly, I couldn't feel the bottom anymore. My breath caught and I panicked, scrambling back to shallower water, leaving Bruce behind. I stood on the beach, panting, trying to get my heart rate down. Bruce came out after me and I couldn't even think about how fantastic he looked coming out the water because I felt I might hyperventilate at any moment. He grabbed my shoulders, bending down to look me in the eye.

"You alright?" I nodded, coughing a little on some water. I clung to his biceps ferociously

"You're going to be okay. I'm right here, I won't let anything happen to you." I gulped in air and nodded, trying to register his words. His thumbs stroked my arms, bringing me down.

"You want to try again?" He was tentative. I shook my head aggressively, pulling backward on his grip.

"I'm right here. I'll keep you safe." He gently walked backward into the waves, and I cautiously followed him. It got deeper and deeper until I was on my tiptoes, struggling to touch the bottom.

"Bruce?" I cried out holding tight to him.

"I'm right here. Look at me. I'm right here." I met his eyes and clung to him with all my might. He kept moving and I resisted the urge to kick frantically. We were in the ocean, with sharks and fish swimming around us. I was afraid of water for the same reason kids were scared of the dark. You didn't know what was inside. You were helpless, at it's mercy. As we got deeper I could feel Bruce start to tread water, no longer being able to touch the bottom. I whimpered a little, my breathing erratic.

"You're okay." Bruce cooed and I wrapped my legs around him, holding on for dear life. He went farther till we were surrounded by water. I physically shook.

"This was your idea? I thought you said trust me?" I cried as I clung to him relying on him to carry both of us.

"I did. Now are you going to? I'm trying to help you overcome your fear." His voice was collected and soothing.

"Why couldn't you have just wanted sex on the beach or something?" I cried as I looked frantically around, just waiting for disaster to strike. He chuckled.

"Hey calm down, you're going to be fine." He pulled me off him slightly and I tightened my grip.

"What are you doing?" I sounded half-mad with fear.

"I'm just loosening up, you'll be okay, you can swim." He pulled me away a little bit and I let him hold me loosely around him. He looked me seriously, straight in the eye.

"I'm going to let go now and you are going to swim." I nodded shakily, his authoritative voice driving me to blind obedience.

"Okay, I'm going to move away now." He gently pushed away, leaving me treading water, terrified that something was going to come from the depths and drag me down. I tried to maintain my breathing, but it was fast and frightened. I treaded water for about thirty seconds while Bruce bobbed around me before I reached out for him. He immediately responded and I wrapped myself around him again.

"You did so good. I'm so proud of you." He whispered as he kissed my salty hair. My breathing evened out as he held me.

"Can we-can we go back now?" I asked, my voice shaking, but containing a bit of humorous relief. Bruce laughed.

"Yes, we can go back now." He swam be back to the shallows, gently letting me down when he knew I could feel the bottom. We walked up the beach collapsing on our towels. Bruce reached over and grabbed my hand. I let out a sigh of relief and a tiny laugh.

"I did it." I swam in the ocean. Bruce turned his head to look at me, pride shining in his eyes.

"You did it." I sighed again and closed my eyes.

* * *

My hair dried into soft beachy waves on the plane ride home. Seashells filled my lap which was covered by an oversized, white v-neck. I held one up to my ear, sighing at the sound as I looked out my window. Bruce watched my lovingly, only innocence in his eyes. I smiled at him before turning back to the window. It had been the best day.

* * *

The sun was setting when we got back to Stark Tower. Happy pulled up and we both sat there in silence for a moment. I should probably stay in the car so Happy can take me home, but I was waiting, trying to read Bruce to see what I should do.

"I want you to stay." He finally said. I knew how much bravery it took for him to stay it and I smiled at him, hoping he could see my appreciation.

"Bruce, I don't have any clothes. Pretty soon there will be no point in paying my rent." I laughed.

"Then let me come with you." A wicked grin accompanied his words. I giggled and mock pushed him away.

"Bruce, come on. Besides you're apartment is a lot better than mine." He grabbed my hands and pulled me to him.

"Fine, my place then." I gigged like a twitterpated teenage girl.

"That still doesn't solve the problem." He leaned forward till his lips grazed my ear, making me shiver.

"Oh, we won't be needing clothes." I bit back the sound that erupted from my twisting core.

"No Bruce. That's not how it works." I rolled my eyes and pulled away from him, still reeling from his touch.

"Fine, then move in with me." I froze, true shock crashing through my body. Bruce's brown eyes were trained seriously on me. I tried to search them for a hint of humor or lust, but he was unwavering.

I had never progressed to this step. I'd slept over and made out, but I'd never made this level of commitment with anyone, not just him. I was afraid. What if it didn't work? This had to be it, when things fell apart. I didn't even know if I was capable of that level of commitment. Happy stared forward in the front seat, pretending to be unaware of the conversation in the back seat. I wouldn't be able to hide anymore. I would be exposed, vulnerable.

"Happy will you take her home for me?" Bruce's voice broke my thoughts. He leaned toward me and kissed me on the my furrowed brow. I met his eyes as he leaned away.

"Think about it." He whispered. He slid out, shutting the car door, leaving me to decide what it was I really wanted and what I was willing to do for it.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning for work and showered. As I got out I looked around my apartment with new eyes. I knew every nook and cranny, every belonging. I walked into my room eyes taking in every detail, mind taking in every emotion. I unconsciously wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to provide comfort as I sat on the unmade bed. I was terrified at the prospect of change. I tried to pinpoint when our relationship had got so serious, but it happened so naturally I couldn't. I tried to picture living with Bruce in my head. It terrified me so bad that I pushed it out of my thoughts and continued getting ready for work. I put on my usual silk blouse, suit jacket and slacks.

I came into the office, numbly going through the motions. I pushed all coherent thought away in an effort to avoid thinking about Bruce.

I didn't even realize how late I had stayed in the lab until Jarvis gave me a reminder.

"It's 11:32 Dr. Davenport, shall I save your work for the day?" I started and then sighed.

"Ya that sounds like a good idea." I hung up my lab coat and grabbed the rest of my belongings from my office. I was leaving when I heard someone coming down the hall. I looked up from my work to see Bruce. Still dressed in his button down and jeans, but looking disheveled. I sucked in a breath that I held for a moment too long before letting it out. We both looked at each other long, hard, and unmoving.

"I'm going to pull away."

"I'm only going to fight harder." I felt tears threatening to grace my cheeks. My hands trembled a little on my purse.

"'Take today for what it is and never lose faith in tomorrow.'" Something within me stirred as he said it and I closed my eyes, letting the feeling wash over me. Our brown eyes met then, and I stood up straighter.

"Let's do it."

* * *

We sat on the couch, I was cuddled so close I was almost sitting on his lap watching Tangled. My stuff incorporated seamlessly with his own around the room. So far, I hadn't missed my apartment. Initially, when the movers arrived with my stuff at Bruce's I had had a momentary panic attack, but Bruce held my face between his hands and talked me down.

I snuggled further into him.

"I'm glad I don't have to leave." I sighed into his chest. His arm tightened around me.

"Ya, me too."

* * *

My first morning in the apartment, I rolled out of bed reluctantly.

"Come on baby we've got work." Bruce coaxed, trying to pull me out of bed. I groaned and burrowed further into the sheets. Bruce let go of my hand and I sighed closing my eyes to doze of again. Suddenly arms restrained me from the other side of the blanket and lifted me into the air, sheet and all. I screamed and kicked my legs.

"Alright! I'm up, I'm up!" Bruce put me down, still cocooned inside the sheet. I sighed and headed to the bathroom. Bruce stepped on the sheet, and it ripped off my shoulders leaving me in my tanktop and shorts that were closer to underwear than clothing. I screamed and jumped back in surprise, right into Bruce's arms. He reached down and grabbed a handful of ass. I squealed and turned around to glare at him in disbelief.

"What? I can't help myself when you wear those things around, your ass hanging out." He gave me his best puppy dog face, but he wasn't very good at it. I rolled my eyes.

He sidled up to me. "What you don't believe me? You don't think your ass is the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on? Soft to the touch so I can grab hold of it?" His hand cupped my butt as he spoke.

"Curving perfectly to your hips, made with two handles, just for me." He was seriously seductively talking about my fat. I looked up at him scowling.

"Are you saying I'm fat?" He chuckled, his eyes still alight with desire.

"I'm saying that I can't keep my eyes off the soft skin and the way it gives under my hands." I pulled away, arms folded defiantly over my chest.

"You are seriously trying to seduce me by talking about my fat." Bruce groaned.

"You are not fat!" I cocked an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"I'm saying I enjoy your soft and feminine body!" I clenched my jaw and turned to walk to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me.

"Karissa!" He called after me. He was clearly exasperated, not angry, just impatient. I looked at myself in the mirror. Taking off my tanktop. There they were, not matter how much I exercised, plastered to my hips. I sighed as I ran my hands over them. I checked the rest of my body, suddenly self-conscious. I turned and looked at my big booty in the mirror. That was one thing that never changed either. I sighed slipping off my boxer shorts. Slowly I took of my bra and I stared at myself in the mirror. I was twenty-eight and I had only slept with one man. Something had to be wrong with me. I looked over every bit of skin with new eyes. Bruce was right. I was taunt, but soft, giving me a healthy look. My boobs and butt gave me a nice hourglass and a tiny, flat waist. I sighed. Looking in the mirror you couldn't tell anything was wrong. You couldn't see my broken inside. I got in the shower and changed my clothes. When I came out I was ready to apologize to Bruce, but he was already gone.

"Great. Our first fight was about my weight." I fumed to myself. Me and my stupid feminine insecurities. Classic.

* * *

Bruce usually got in a lot later than I did. I had the apartment to myself usually after work. I typically walked around the house in panties and a t-shirt, stripping down if I was hot and picking up whatever was scattered around when I was cold.

I was wearing a pair of red lace underwear and a crop top as I walked around the house.

"Yo, Jarvis, play me some toons." I shuffled my hands mimicking spinning records. Jason Derulo Talk Dirty came on. I felt the beat pulsing in my hips. I moved to the beat, rolling my hips in synchronization as I moved around the apartment. Stark had maids, so I didn't even have to clean, which is what I usually did while I let it out, and after this morning I had plenty to let out. I rubbed my back against the refrigerator as I moved, rubbing my butt over stove in a squat position. Even though I worked out every everyday I still broke a sweat as I pulsed my crotch up and down. I always joked that the only reason I worked out was so in case I got desperate for a job I could be a stripper. I pounded as he counted in spanish. Running my hands along my body and through my hair. I sang the rap part as I let my body roll. I held a hand to my mouth in mock horror when he said penis. I picked up a pair of socks off the floor, and found a sports bra half under the couch, which I twerked down to get. I moved across the room toward a shirt I had thrown over the lamp the previous day. I let myself grind against the lamp. I moved toward the laundry basket gyrating as I went making it just before the end of the song. I shoved the clothes inside, breathing heavy. Pieces of my hair had fallen out of my top knot and were clinging to my sweaty skin. I laughed breathlessly as I slammed the laundry basket shut, moving my lips to the girl at the end in more mock innocence. Robin Thicke Blurred Lines came on and I felt my body ache to move in time. I turned to get a drink of water and found myself looking at Bruce leaning against the wall next to the door. I stopped moving my hips as I walked cautiously into the kitchen and pulled out a water bottle. I downed half the bottle as he watched me before I spoke up.

"So how much of that did you see?" I asked unsurely. Bruce tried not to break into an outright grin.

"Do you mean did I hear you ask Jarvis to play you some toons yo?" He pushed off the wall and walked toward me. I blushed close to the shade of my panties.

"Oh, that much." I avoided his eyes, setting my water bottle on the counter. He came up behind me, pulling me toward him as his hands wound around my waist. I could feel his smile as he nuzzled into my shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. You really got me going there for a minute." I wringled against him as his lips teased my neck, his teeth nibbling the flesh. I moaned and ground against him to the beat. Letting myself get hot and heavy with him for a minute. Bruce groaned and pushed back. I sighed and shifted, exposing my neck to him. He found my sweet spot on suckled making me writhe. He bit down and my breath caught in my throat. I pushed away and stepped back.

"I'm really sorry for this morning, but Bruce, this isn't a good idea."

"How are we supposed to know unless we try." He said as he pulled me to him, tongue going for my sweet spot. I moaned, lost in the pleasure before pushing lightly away from him.

"So what we just wait for you to Hulk out every time? We can't keep cutting it so close like this." I wished I didn't have to be the bearer of bad news, the one to stop it, especially with the way his cock was hardening against me...I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders back to compose myself. I tried again. He looked dejected. I reached up and touched his face.

"Besides, do you really want our first time to be crazy, rap sex?" I giggled, leaning up to kiss him. The song had moved and Ke$ha's voice came over the sound system singing Blow. He grinned a deep chuckle escaping his lips.

"No I guess not." He leaned down and kissed me open-mouthed one more time. I smiled seductively as I backed away. My hand running down his arm till I held his hand.

"That doesn't mean I can't give you a little show." I pulled him to the couch. I let my hips swing as I walked. I pushed him down. Letting my body roll back. My hips gyrated as I moved toward him. His pupils dilated with arousal. His hands spread on the couch on either side of him. I brought myself down on his thigh as I moved and he threw his head back with a throaty moan erupting from deep inside him. I moved up his leg and his hands started to move off the couch. I swung my leg over his other and held his hands down by the wrists.

"No touching." I hissed into his ear, letting my tongue flick in. He growled and strained against me. I immediately pulled back. Worry replacing seduction on my face. He looked back at me.

"No. Don't stop." His voice was rough and strained, with an authority I'd never heard before. He was still in control, I could tell, so I brought myself down on top of him. I rolled my body against him. I could feel his hard cock and it made my panties wet. I moved my hands slowly up his arms and down his chest, letting my finger tips hook the waistband of his pants. I felt him strain against me.

"No!" Bruce growled. He picked me up and tossed me on the couch next to him. He held his head in his hands, his knuckles white as he tried to stay in control. I stayed there, unmoving until the his face relaxed. It took a almost ten minutes. Finally, I got up and kneeled in front of him, caressing his face lightly.

"What, Big Boy doesn't like it when I get close to Big Boy?" I whispered playfully, but innocently. He grinned a small chuckle slipping past his tight lips.

"How are we ever supposed to get anywhere if I can't get anywhere?" I continued to joke, trying to get a smile out of him.

"Oh wait, I got a good one-" Bruce cut me off by catching my lips in a kiss. I could feel the smile on his lips. I ran my finger through his salt and peppered hair.

"It's okay. I've always got the lamp." I said as we broke apart, foreheads touching. He chuckled and I got up and went in our room, coming out in a pair of his boxers. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

"How is that supposed to be better." I shrugged and picked up my water bottle that I had neglected.

"Dinner?" I said as I opened the fridge to start cooking. Bruce chuckled as he came up behind me. My culinary skills weren't nearly what Bruce's were but I could make anything mediocre if you gave me a recipe.

"I got it." Bruce gently moved me from the fridge.

"Jarvis put on some country." I said as I headed to the couch.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning utterly entangled in Bruce, lying half on top of him in his boxers and my crop from the day before. I groaned as the alarm buzzed and nuzzled into him. I reached over him and pushed snooze, dozing off again. Twenty minutes later Jarvis's voice came over the speaker.

"Dr. Banner, Dr. Davenport. I'm afraid you've overslept, I've calculated the last possible moment to bother you-"

"Jarvis if you wake me up again I'm spilling coffee on your circuit board." I growled. Bruce's chest shook underneath me as he chuckled.

"Come on sweetheart, we've got work." I felt him shift to stand under me and I pinned him down.

"Can't you call Stark? I mean just this once use your friendship." I groaned as Jarvis opened the blinds.

"Jarvis!" I warned. The blinds closed again. I gave Bruce the best doe eyes I could.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

I leaned down to kiss him and he grinned, raising an eyebrow. I moved my lips to his ear.

"I'll give you a fashion show of all my lingerie."

"Jarvis. Let Tony that I will be taking a day off." I bit back a grin.

"Should I tell him Dr. Davenport wishes to join you." I gasped at Jarvis's gall. Bruce chuckled.

"Well, it's not like Tony won't figure it out anyway."

"Yes, sir." I looked incredulously, letting my mouth hang open. He was seriously going to let Jarvis tell Tony that we wanted to take the day off to nail each other! Bruce reached up and shoved his tongue into my wide open mouth. I pushed him back down.

"I can't believe you!" I swung off of him to storm to the bathroom. He reached out and grabbed a nice bit of ass. My hand flew to my butt and I turned to see him wickedly grinning.

"I can't believe you." It came out a lot more suggestively when he said it. I rolled my eyes and swung my hips a little more prominently, stripping off my shirt before I even got to the bathroom revealing the matching red bra he hadn't yet seen. I heard him hiss in a breath from the bed as I swung the door shut with my hip.

I took a quick shower before putting on my matching grey, lace, demi-cup lingerie and a bit of makeup. I opened the door and waltzed out. Bruce was sitting up in bed, his back against the headboard. He heard the door open and he woke from his dozing. His eyes widened and he cocked an eyebrow.

"It's all yours." I swung my hips as I walked to the door. I turned to look at him as I turned the knob. He was staring hungrily at my ass.

"The bathroom, babe." I said with a trill and I shut the door behind me. There was no way he was going into work today. I went to the kitchen and pulled a green smoothie out of the fridge. There was no way I was letting myself bloat today. I was still in the kitchen making Bruce breakfast when he came out, twenty minutes later. He was in a plain dark grey t-shirt and jeans, no belt, so they hung low on his lips, and I physically restrained myself from licking my lips.

"Eat up." I slid the omelet onto the plate as the toast got done and I set it down at the bar with a glass of orange juice. Bruce took me in hungrily as if he had thought he'd imagined what happened in the bedroom and he was just realizing this was reality.

"The food." I blushed. I liked to tease Bruce and play seductress. I'll admit it, but just because I loved to tease him didn't mean I wasn't prone to embarrassment. I'd never done anything like what I did for Bruce for anyone.

* * *

Bruce ate slow as I cleaned up, moving around the kitchen effortlessly, as he watched me. I was almost done when the front door swung open suddenly. Tony stood in the doorway, arms crossed, indignant. I yelped and sunk below the bar, but not before he got a good view of me, hair loose, boobs hoisted, and ass hanging out.

"What are you doing!" Bruce yelled, clearly trying to maintain control.

"Getting your ass to the lab, because it looks like you're too busy pounding the company OB's ass to get yours to work." Tony grinned to himself. "Isn't that ironic, you're nailing the Gynie squad." He chuckled, oblivious to the fact that Bruce was gripping the counter to keep control.

"Tony…" I warned from my crouching position behind the counter.

"Oh you can come out cupcake, I already got a good view." I groaned. He was insufferable. Bruce wasn't so patient. His veins were throbbing. Taking a deep breath I stood up.

"Tony if you don't get out of here and leave us alone till we come in tomorrow so help me God I will call Pepper and unleash her on you and you'll be lucky if you get to pound her ass for a month." My breathing was heavy as I gritted my jaw and let him have everything I got. He looked from Bruce to me for a moment, then back to Bruce, and then without a word, he turned and left.

"Jarvis, put the floor on lockdown for the rest of the day." I spat out before finally turning my attention to Bruce, letting my anger dissipate, but he wasn't Hulking out. He was staring at me in utter surprise.

"What?" I shrugged. "Somebody had to do it." I took his plate and cup like nothing had happened and put them into the sink before sauntering over to the couch.

"Jarvis I'm feeling some victory music. Help me out here." Having Jarvis around made me feel like I was in a movie sometimes where I could create my own soundtrack. Florence and the Machines Kiss with a Fist blared over the loudspeakers.

I threw my head back, letting my butt swing back and forth. Bruce came up behind me his hands slipping to the sides, finding my ticklish spot, the side of my waist on my ribcage. I spasmed mildly as he let his fingers run over it. I pulled away and ran behind the bar. He grinned and followed me around. I vaulted over the couch, Bruce close behind me. Finally he caught me up against the wall. He tickled my sides relentlessly and I reached up to bite his shoulder. He let go and I slipped past him to the bedroom. I tried to shut the door, but he was too fast, shoving his weight against it so it wouldn't close. He shoved himself inside, pinning me against the door. The song ended and Bruce's lips came down roughly on me. I kissed him back and he let me go.

"Come on handsome let's go watch a movie."

"You're just going to stay in that?" Bruce asked as he followed me to the living room.

"Uh, ya." I plopped onto the couch and flicked the TV on. I flipped it to the science channel and settled in to watch the screen. Bruce sat next to me. It was some documentary on the plight of the bees. I made it halfway through before falling asleep on Bruce's lap while he stroked my hair.

* * *

I only slept for 30 minutes, but when I woke up it was over. I sat up and stretched, yawning.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty." He said giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"Hey Prince Philip." Bruce looked at me quizzically.

"Prince Philip. The Prince in Sleeping Beauty is Philip." He was still disbelieving.

"I thought it was Prince Charming."

"No that's Cinderella." I said as I gave him another quick kiss. "But thank you for awakening me from my eternal slumber." Bruce chuckled. I thought about the analogy. It would seem like we were Beauty and the Beast, not that I thought I was any kind of Beauty or that Bruce was a Beast, but that is what other people would peg us as, but we were really the Story of Sleeping Beauty. I had been hurt long ago and so I buried those feelings deep inside me, until Bruce came and awakened them.

"I didn't realize it mattered." He chuckled.

"Oh it definitely matters." I scolded him.

"How about lunch?" I asked and Bruce's stomach growled in agreement.

"You can eat it off my stomach." I said as I jumped up, leaving Bruce mortified.

"I'm kidding!" I said as I preset the oven.

I had eventually put on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. Bruce and I lounged around, talking about our favorite parts of science, attempting to invent a new food, even playing a game of scrabble, it was close, but he barely one out with the word 'biflex' on a double word score and the x on a triple letter score.

* * *

"I miss the stars." I was sitting on the balcony legs spread out in front of me propped up on my palms. We had brought all the blanket and pillows from the apartment out to the balcony and then burrowed inside of them like a nest. It wasn't night yet, but I wished the lights of the city didn't drown them out so I could pick them out of the sky as it began to darken.

"Sometimes when I look out at the city lights I pretend that I'm looking at a perfectly still ocean and that all those lights are stars reflecting across the water." I whispered. The air had a fall chill to it that made me shiver in a delicious way that I didn't mind. In that moment as I looked at the sun setting over the city, I knew. I loved Bruce Banner. I turned to look at him. The wind ruffled his hair as he looked over the skyline like he was the Captain of some great ship that was crossing that wide invisible ocean. I could tell my Captain all the secret desires of my heart and he would understand. He would treat them like a treasure, nurturing them with me. I didn't tell him as the sky darkened. I didn't tell him I wanted to play scrabble until we were eighty, oh and walk around in our underwear, that too. I wanted to kiss his old and fragile body. I wanted to be the only one to love him, to hold him till our bones creaked.

The city enveloped in darkness and we moved together, neither one of us bothering to change. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes as I listened to his heart beat and felt his chest rise and fall with his breaths.

"I don't want kinky sex." I said suddenly. I think the filter between my mouth and my brain was broken because whatever I thought I said, no matter how random. I sat up, having startled myself.

"I mean, we could later, after a bit, but I just want to make love at first you know, And I know that's how I've been acting but I'm not some sort of slut-I don't just want sex." It all frantically poured out and I wondered if I was talking too fast for him to even understand. I cut myself off when I looked at him. He hadn't moved. He lay there unfazed as he watched me.

"I know." Was all he said. I looked down at him, a bit stunned at his reaction. I tried to figure out what he must be thinking, but he just raised a hand to stroke my cheek.

"We will. I promise I'll make it special." I blushed against his fingertips and lay back down to rest on his chest. We fell asleep right there, out on the balcony, in the middle of our ocean.


	9. Chapter 9

WARNING! I said there was smut and there is. Rated M.

* * *

I had been working feverishly on a new project at work, so I was too engrossed to check on what Bruce was working on. Pepper had come to visit me after the Tony incident and we both laughed. She said he had come to her terrified I had said something, begging her not to withhold sex. We both laughed. Today I just wanted to be home.

I finished up early and headed upstairs. I sat down at the piano we had put in the living room. My fingers settled easily into the grooves I had worn into the faux ivory. I played Nearness of You from memory. Savoring the silky blues sounds. Softly singing along. I closed my eyes and swayed with the movements of the piece, remembering all the places Bruce's lips had kissed me, my skin longing for his touch, to truly be his. I wasn't Norah Jones, but my voice came out clear as I let my fingers drift, my breath slipping through my lips longingly, really feeling the words as I poured my own longing into it. I had played her songs so many times I no longer needed the music to play any of them.

I let my fingers still on the keys, just as a warm caress swept my hair to the side, bending to kiss my neck. I sighed and turned to kiss Bruce on the lips. I could taste the sadness there in both of us. We kissed again, deepening it, letting our longing leak out. Tongues tenderly danced, neither one fighting for dominance, both working together, feeding the sorrowful longing in the pit of our stomachs. We shared breath, staying together as long as possible. Finally, finally I pulled away, resting my forehead on his, my hand cupped behind his ear.

"Let's try Bruce, please. Let's try." I pleaded desperately. Our eyes locked on each other. We both breathed heavy, trying to suppress a longing that wouldn't leave.

"Okay." He carried me to the bedroom bridal style, his eyes never leaving my own. In the background Jarvis quietly played Norah Jones. He lay me down on the bed on my back, leaning over me, looking me deep in the eye as if to give me one last out. I gave a little nod and he moved down to kiss me. I told him in my kisses the words that I couldn't say out loud. His mouth kissed the corner of my lips, trailing down my neck to find my sweet spot. His whole purpose to please me. I whimpered quietly, soulfully, as he gently suckled, marking me. His hand slipped below my shirt arching my back and pulling till it came of over my head, splaying my long hair over the bed. Bruce wound a soft curl around his finger, gently bringing it to his lips. Before trailing down my shoulders to the tops of my breasts. I sighed, goosebumps breaking out on my skin. He continued to place, soft, full kisses along my breasts as his hands slid down my stomach to unbutton my jeans. He slipped them off agonizingly slow. I whimpered for him to hurry and he brought his lips to my thigh, kissing each inch as it was exposed. I gasped as he placed wet, open-mouthed kisses on the inside of my thigh. His tongue tracing circles on the soft flesh. Finally my pants fell to the floor. He returned his attention to my breasts, slowly unclipping my bra and sliding it off my shoulders. His eyes were dark with lust, but he moved methodically. Flicking my hardened nipple with his finger as he brought his tongue down on the other. My back arched involuntarily as he brought his lips around the dark skin and sucked hard. I moaned, my eyelids fluttering.

"Bruce-" I tried to speak to tell him that we'd better not, it was too dangerous. This was as far as we'd ever made it, but my thoughts were a jumbled mess except for one thing. I longed for Bruce Banner. I felt my apex warming, pulsing with want, wetting my underwear. His mouth moved between my breasts and I couldn't speak anymore. Incomprehensibly sounds were the only thing that escaped my lips. His tongue darted in my belly button as it trailed it's way to my panty line. I instinctively arched and he took the opportunity to take off my panties. I lay completely bare for him and he looked down at me lovingly, kissing the exposed flesh of my flat stomach. I desperately wanted to see him above me, naked and hard, but he focused all his attention on my wants. his hands moved down my body from my breasts, till they rested on my inner thighs. His thumbs drew circles as he gently pushed them apart. He brought his head down between my thighs. His tongue met my clit first and I gasped, my toes curling against the sheets. My reaction encouraged him and he gently nipped, sending me reeling. I was already so swollen, so slick, so ready. He slid his tongue down and it slipped into me. I gasped and moaned his name.

"Bruce!" He flicked his tongue, hitting my walls and I writhed. He let his thumb continue to massage my clit as he came up to kiss me, his tongue sweep the roof of my mouth, letting me taste my slick heat. I roared for him to enter, teetering on the edge. He slowly pulled away, and my muscles strained in wanting protest. Slowly, he took of his clothes, letting me watch as he towered over me until we were both naked. His cock was hard and it glistened with pre-cum. I writhed wantonly under him.

"Please. Please." I begged as he lowered himself down, lining himself up. He slipped in slowly, letting my body adjust and I cried out in sweet agony, throwing my head back, every muscle in my body working to accommodate him. Then with one fluid motion he thrust in.

"AHH! Bruce!" I cried out, my hands gripping the sheets, my thighs squeezing his hips harder. Tears filled my eyes as my whole body cried out for him. He pulled out again, thrusting deep till he his a sweet spot. My back arched and I pushed against him as he established a rhythm, moving faster and faster. My breathing labored until I was gasping for oxygen. With one final thrust he went in deep. I came with Bruce's head buried in my neck. It was like a wave roaring over my whole body. Every muscle in my body strained and my eyes rolled back in my head. I had no control over my mouth as it roared for Bruce. I felt him come immediately after and my hand clutched his hair as I felt him shake against me. I gasp for breath as I rode out the waves of sweet and painful pleasure, Bruce rolled off me in exhaustion and we lay there naked and wet, and oh so weak. I rolled over to lay on his chest. I could hear his steady heartbeat in his chest and I silently thanked God for that, for what we had just shared. Bruce's hand stroked my long hair, while his other rested on the curve of my back.

I lifted my head just enough to look him in the eye.

"You kept your promise." I whispered as I stroked his face. I felt him sigh from deep within his chest. We lay there, both drifting in and out of sleep, my foot lightly caressing his shin as we slept. I slid off him while he was sleeping to go to the bathroom and my eye caught the shower. It was enticing. I flipped the water on and slipped inside, letting it steam, creating a sauna like atmosphere. I closed my eyes and savored the water pelting over me. I heard the door open and Bruce slipped in behind me, holding me to him as we let the water run over our bodies, both too tired and too reverent to try again. So we just showered, gently washing each others bodies until the last of the salty taste was gone from our skin. We both got out and slipped back into bed without putting anything on.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up warm for once, my bare skin plastered against Bruce's in intimate embrace. I closed my eyes feeling his breath, reminding myself this was real, memorizing the feeling. Finally, when the sun had crept in too much for me to go back to sleep I slid off, pulling a lace nightie out of my drawer and slipping it over my head pulling my long hair out and down my back. I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. I wanted to make breakfast for the two of us. Would that be too cliche? Would that put too much pressure on him? I decided I didn't care and that I wanted to so what the heck. Thirty minutes later Bruce wondered in wearing a pair of boxers and nothing else. His hair was shooting out in every direction and I desperately wanted to run my fingers through it. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my head.

"Mmm, smells good." His voice was rough with sleep. I bit back a smile as I finished the last pancake, putting it onto the second perfectly prepared plate. Bruce took a fork out of the drawer and took his plate onto the couch. I followed him. He lay out so I could sit down between his legs while one of his hung off. We ate like that, not really talking, just enjoying the nearness of each other, and the lingering sensations of the night before.

"Don't think that sex means you're going to get breakfast now." I said as I ate. Bruce chuckled. I smiled too. We set our plates on the coffee table when we were done.

"Bruce?" I asked as I rested back on his chest.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you think we could do it this time?" I didn't feel him shift uncomfortably under me. I took that as a good sign.

"I guess we just took it at the right speed, we moved slow enough." He said, his hand brushing up and down my arm as we dozed.

"Do you think we'll be able to do it again?" I tried to hide the worry in my voice.

"Why, you making any plans?" His hand never changed rhythm.

"No, but eventually I would like to get to that kinky sex." I joked. I felt Bruce chuckle and I smiled too before we both drifted to sleep again.

* * *

We both had to go into work the next day. I had an appointment with Pepper I had to go to. I couldn't believe it had been just over four months since I met Bruce.

"You did it didn't you?" Pepper watched me when she came into the room. She met me in the exam room this time. I stared at her, wide eyed, in utter shock.

"Pepper, I would expect this from Tony, but not you!" I looked down, knowing my crimson blush gave me away.

"You did!" Her eyes widened, and mine narrowed at her girly shriek.

"Looks like both of you finally got a little action. How was it? Wait actually, that's like asking your best friend how losing her virginity was in high school. Um, no." I couldn't fathom my cheeks getting redder. I was pretty sure if I took my face temperature at that moment I would have a temperature and I would be able to take a sick day.

"Pepper!" I rolled my eyes. Willing my voice to come out of it's hiding place along with the shred of dignity I had left. She squirmed in her seat trying to keep quiet.

"Okay! But really, how was it?" My eyes dropped to the floor, not in embarrassment, but in innocence. I wanted to keep our moment our moment. Pepper's eyes got wide and her mouth formed a little oh.

"Karissa I'm glad you finally had your moment." She said in understanding. I smiled and picked up my clipboard.

"Let's get down to business. You said you wanted to talk about something before your exam. Do you have any concerns? Is your prescription working out alright?" I said flipping through her file looking for any minor abnormalities I could have somehow overlooked. This time Pepper blushed.

"Oh no, it's not that. In fact, the prescription is working great. That's just it." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "Tony and I want to get pregnant." I started as my clipboard clattered to the ground.

"Are you serious? Tony wants to? He's really ready for that? You?" I picked up my clipboard and recomposed myself. "I mean as your doctor, I think that's great. I'll make sure everythings in tip-top shape for you to get trying." She bit back a nervous smile.

"You don't think this is a bad idea?" I set down my clipboard and sighed, turning to counsel my friend.

"No Pepper, I don't I think it's a bad idea. I think it's beautiful and I'm going to do everything I can to help you."

* * *

I came home exhausted and started stripping the minute I got inside till I was in my panties and silk tanktop. I brought out some gummy worms from the kitchen and popped in a documentary on China. I sighed and collapsed on the couch. Bruce would probably be in the lab for a couple days because he'd been missing so much work there. I had to innerly laugh at myself and my relaxation techniques. I fell asleep on the couch just like that.

"Momma!" My eyelids shot open and I looked around, Bruce was trying to keep quiet as he came in the door, the TV was still playing images of rice fields.

"Hey baby, did I wake you up?" His gruff voice translated well to a smooth whisper. I shook my head vaguely. I had been having a nightmare. My tank clung to my sweaty body. I was whimpering slightly, but I couldn't help it. He came to kneel beside the couch, his hand cupping my face.

"What is it kitten?" I hadn't realized I'd been crying in my sleep till he wiped the tears.

"I had a nightmare." I didn't tell him about the horrifying images that had plagued my sleep. A little boy lying broken...he swooped me up and carried me to the bedroom. I hung around his neck, resting against his chest.

"It's okay baby, I got you I'm here." He whispered. I breathed deeply. He smelled a bit like the lab, but I could smell his musky aftershave. It had a bit of a bite to it.

"Don't leave me. The nightmares go aware when you're here." My words trialed off as he steps lulled me to sleep. I looked up at him, disheveled from a long day at work, the top buttons of his shirt undone.

"I love you." I sighed against his shirt, the words coming out with my breath. I was too tired to debate whether I'd really said them, of if I just imagined them on my lips, and far too incoherent to realize I'd said them in the morning. My lids threatened to close as he lay me on the bed.

I was asleep before I hit the mattress, unable to hear what he said as he slipped in behind me, clothes and all.

"I love you too Karissa."

* * *

I came out of the bedroom with wet hair while Bruce made breakfast.

"You know we live together and I haven't even met you're family." I said as I slid up behind Bruce, nuzzling my cheek against his back, hugging him from behind. I felt him stiffen beneath me and immediately my mind jumped to worst case scenarios. I had overstepped. Bruce set down his spatula and turned around in my arms. His face was hardened when he looked down at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry." I silently cursed my weakness. Here I was groveling after a simple and legitimate question. This was important to me, after sleeping together I wanted to meet his family. I wanted to take things to the next level and that scared the hell out of me.

"Karissa, I don't have family." I knew it was a cop out. I could see it in his eyes. I pushed away from him, hurt he would lie to me, that he wouldn't let me in.

"Karissa." He reached out to pull me too him again and I fought against his hands. A throaty sigh shook his adam's apple. I pulled away, seeing in his face he only meant to comfort me, not to tell me. I glared and whipped around, my wet hair whipping at his shirt.

"Karissa my mom is dead." I stopped dead in my tracks, my anger dissipating.

"My father was responsible. I don't have anyone." My eyes welled up with tears as I felt my heart wrench. I turned and slowly walked back to him. He didn't hesitate to take me into his arms. I fought tooth and nail to keep my tears away, afraid of what would happen after keeping them buried for so long. I clenched my jaw until my ears hurt.

"Bruce I want you to meet my family." I whispered into his chest.


	11. Chapter 11

Bruce had got all dressed up, slacks and a white button up, refusing to put on a tie. They restricted his neck too much for the Big Guy to be comfortable. I went into the closet while he got ready and opened a shoe box buried in the bottom. I pulled out a blue sundress, running my fingers over the filmy fabric, I slipped it over my head. Bruce had never seen it before. I watched him from the bed. He worriedly bustled around the room and I didn't have the strength to tell him not to bother. He pulled out a pair of shiny dress shoes I had never seen before and I watched as he put them on. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. He stood up confidently, holding his hand out for me. I slipped my toes into my flats and slipped my hand in his.

We passed a flower stall on a street corner on the way.

"Stop here." I tapped Happy on the shoulder.

"Great idea." Bruce said and he kissed my nose, getting out to pick them up for me.

"Get the white lilies." I told him, my voice barely above a whisper. I knew he was trying to keep a cool surface for me. I smiled weakly as he returned with a grin and a bouquet of lilies. I took them from him as he slid in, burying my face in the smell.

"So you think-" I held my hand up to his lips and he kissed my fingers.

"I think they'll love you." I met his eyes. They were so apprehensive in the best way. He had heard only good things about my family and he wanted to see the people who raised such a woman. I couldn't look anymore, I turned to look out my window, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. We rode in silence, with Bruce's hand gripping mine excitedly and I held on to the stems of those lilies for dear life. Finally, Happy pulled into the driveway, in an unusually green part of New York. We pulled to a stop and I felt my chest heave. Threatening to come apart at the seams.

I stepped out of the car, pulling Bruce out with me. He looked around, confused, before realization dawned on him. Happy stood stalwartly at the car. Staring straight forward. Bruce looked at him and realized he knew. Happy had known about my family. He looked back at me, deep sorrow in his eyes, and this time, this time I saw a twinge of pity in his empathy. I swallowed back tears and led him past the stone monuments, one by one, until we came to mine.

With a painful breath I looked up at him, meeting his pained eyes.

"Meet my family." Even as I forced the tears to stay locked away, I couldn't keep them from leaking out, one by one.

* * *

"Karissa." He reached out to stroke my face and I stood up straighter, kneeling down to place the flowers at the headstone.

"Loving wife and mother". I let my hand run over the words. Silent sobs wracking my body, went unnoticed as I caressed the words, willing it to bring her back. Bruce squated down next to me, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. That's when he looked to the side and saw the five other headstones with the same name and death date on them.

"Oh God Karissa. I'm so sorry." I couldn't hold back the tears now as I held desperately to the cold stone. Five years of hurt came down on my shoulders and I crumpled to ground. Everything around me disappeared in that moment as I knelt in front of her headstone and cried. In that moment, I was the only one in the world and I was utterly alone. All that I had kept so deep broke free and I remembered. The feel of her arms around me, her face on my high school graduation. Rowdy game nights with my siblings, and the laughing, all the laughing, the endless smiles. I heard her voice like she was right there next to me telling me I love you. Her singing in as she cooked and my dad coming in behind her stealing her into his embrace and waltzing her around the kitchen. I thought after five years I wouldn't remember, but I still did. My mom sitting on the piano showing my little fingers the keys. Then myself, doing the same thing with my three younger sisters and my brother. My sisters first date and how we got her ready together. Teaching her to use makeup. Playing football with my little brother. The sundress. The filmy blue sundress. I cried until there was nothing left inside me, till my bodies ached with sorrow and the burden I unleashed was too much for my shoulders.

My breaths started to come in rolling shudders as my tears dried. The sun had dropped two hands in the sky. Twilight teased the air. I stared numbly at the lifeless stone before me. My head in Bruce's lap as he stroked the hair from my face.

"Karissa. It's time to go." Bruce whispered, dark starting to creep into the air. It was too cold out for a sundress. I numbly nodded, my lip still quivering. He picked me up in his arms, cradling me like a child. And I didn't look away from that cold stone until he put me in the car.

* * *

I still shuddered as I lay in our bed, spooning inside Bruce. He stroked my hair as I silently shook with no more tears to cry. The sundress lay draped across the floor where Bruce had slipped it off my shoulders to put me to bed. I stared at it, unable to take my eyes off of that fateful blue fabric.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered against me, his hand moving to caress my arm up and down.

"I didn't know how." Our voices reverently whispered like we were in a temple sanctuary, instead of in our bed.

"How did it happen?"

"Drunk driver." Red flashed in front of my eyes that were still trained on the sundress. The filmy blue sundress.

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"How long has it been?"

"Five years." The sundress. The blue sundress.

"I was at college." A party. Drinking. The blue sundress. I was buzzed. Coming home to the police at my door.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Dead on impact." Guilt, pressing guilt. Denial.

"Do you want to talk about this?" He finally asked, after my short answers.

"I was at college. I had just got into medical school, John-Hopkins. My family was back home in New York. I went out with some of the other Freshman to a Greek party. There was drinking. I got buzzed. I wore a blue sundress." My eyes still trained on it.

"I wore that blue sundress." I swallowed hard, surprised the lump in my throat remained after all the tears. "I got a ride home. They dropped me off at my apartment and left because there were cops waiting for me."

"At first I didn't understand what they were trying to tell me because I was intoxicated."

"My parents and little brother were killed on impact. My littlest sister died on the scene. The other two were air evacuated to the hospital and put in intensive care, but it didn't matter, they were dead before I got home." The whole thing played out like a video in front of my eyes.

"When I got there the house was empty. They were gone. All there stuff was flung around the house like they would be back in a few hours. They even left a gallon of milk out. They never came back." My voice grew quieter as I said it.

"There I was. Twenty-three and completely alone. I planned a funeral for my whole family. I wrapped up their finances. I took care of the house. I boxed up their stuff. I threw dirt on their caskets. I did it. Alone."

"I didn't want to do what that man had done to me to anyone. I never drank again. So there I was. Alone. With nothing to drown my tears."

"I was alone for a long time." Silence filled the room as I paused. I was back there again, in that dark place. So dark, I thought no one could get in.

"I finished school and I began working. I never thought I'd come back to New York until I got the job working at Stark Industries."

"I still didn't go see them."

"That's the first time I've been back." The words caught in my throat. Bruce stayed silent as he listened, understanding that I needed to do this, that it was part of the healing process.

"When I first started staying over you asked me who hurt me so bad. I did Bruce. I let my hurt consume me. I felt so alone. That's the one time I had sex before Bruce. I was so alone and I just wanted to be touched. I don't even remember his name. I gave my virginity up just to be held."

"After that I sort of closed up, I pulled myself out of my hell hole and buried everything deep inside. Including love. I had a few boyfriends, but they either tried to fix me, or just got too close. But they all pushed to hard. I couldn't give them what they wanted not after my family was torn for me. I was repulsed by their touch, it reminded me of my stupidity. I didn't want to make the same mistake. Usually they pushed too hard for affection and I pushed them away, or they didn't get what they wanted and they leave. It's what they do. The leave, they die, they give up on you. And I was alone. Again."

"I forgave him. I forgave the man who did it. I visited him before my own family to do it."

"I decided that I was done dwelling on all that was bad because it would inevitably happen and focus on the little hope I had left. So I took each day for what it was and never lost faith in tomorrow." Finally, finally, I broke my gaze from the blue dress and turned around to face Bruce.

"And look what it brought." I stroked his cheek and smiled a melancholy smile.

"It brought me you." I reached up and brushed my lips lightly to his. Before nuzzling into him like the kitten he sometimes called me.


	12. Chapter 12

WARNING: Smut ahead. Rated M.

* * *

"Karissa!" My eyelids fluttered, but refused to open, the scenes on the TV playing out on the backs of my eyelids. It was different this time, the familiar nightmare had shifted focus to the Hulk. I watched him through the rubble. I cried out again in fear as the aliens attacked him. My hands clawed out at Bruce in reality.

"Karissa, wake up!" He shook me slightly, his gentle attempts having failed to pull me out of it. My eyes shot open, pupils dilated, adrenaline pumping through my limbs as I teetered on the edge of fight or flight. I looked frantically around trying to identify where I was. Bruce held me firmly by the biceps, turning me to look at him.

"Karissa, you're right here. You're home. I've got you. You're safe." I snapped out of it as he spoke, looking around, finally gaining recognition of my surroundings. I shuddered and fell against him, sobbing. He held me tight to him, trying to protect me with his embrace. He gently shushed me as one hand rubbed my back while the other stroked my hair, which clung to the back of my neck.

Finally he spoke, "Do you want to talk about it?"I stayed quiet, my breaths in quiet shudders.

"It was the attack again." I felt silly complaining about my nightmare's about the incident when he was right in it. I felt Bruce's arms constrict around me.

"It was-it was different this time. This time I saw you. I was so scared, not of the Hulk, but for the Hulk. I was so scared you'd get hurt." Silent tears slid down my cheeks as the images haunted my memory.

"It's okay baby, I'm here. I'm fine. I'm safe." He held my face away to look me in the eyes, wiping my tears away with his thumb, his rough hands gently caressing my tears away.

"But something like that's bound to happen again. You told me about General Ross. What about him? What if you get hurt? What if-" I searched his brown eyes frantically as I questioned him.

He cut me off, "I won't leave you. I'm right here. We're going to be okay." He leaned down so our foreheads touched as he said it and I closed my eyes. Letting his words sink in. I couldn't see him, but I felt his breath moved down to my lips as he took my mouth passionately. We pressed hungrily at each other, tearing at each other's lips. Our tongues moved without rhyme or reason. My hands fisted his shirt and I leaned my chest into him, pressing against him, trying to get closer. His hands moved down to pull up my shirt. We came apart only at the last possible moment as he pulled it over my head.

"Don't leave me Bruce." I whispered hoarsely. I tore at the buttons of his shirt, popping more off than I got unbuttoned, sliding it off his shoulders. My hands didn't wait to slide across his chest and I moaned into his open mouth as I felt his skin. His hands expertly unclasped my bra and I let my arms down so it could fall off, quickly returning to Bruce's body. sliding them up his back to feel his muscles straining. His mouth left mine leaving glorious, wet, open-mouthed kisses down my neck. My head strained to the side to let him explore the delicate flesh. I moaned against him, feeling his body snake against him and his lips find my breasts where my nipples were raised, tight and hard.

One arm wound around up his back and rested on his shoulder, the other tangled in the hair of his head.

"Bruce?" I tilted his head up to look at me, our eyes locking. His eyes glistened with want and my heart thumped in my chest and my breathes deepened at the knowledge that I was what he wanted.

"I love you." I wanted to say it. I wanted the words out there, even when I knew I couldn't catch the words in the air and take them back. I wanted to say it when I was aware and I could savor the words on my lips, the lips he craved. I loved him enough to accept that he could break my heart, and give it to him anyway. I loved him enough to accept the hurt. Our heavy breaths moved together. I stared deep into his calm eyes, knowing desperation filled mine, but I meant it.

"I know." He brought his lips down between my breasts without breaking my gaze. I inhaled deeply. I had discovered it was my favorite place, where I secretly craved his kisses wherever I went.

"I love you too." He trailed down my body, watching me writhe and moan at the mercy of his sweet mouth. He kissed me just above the button of my jeans. My back arched and he slowly moved his fingers to unzip them. I gasped and pulled him up to eye level with me. I wasn't going to let him fawn over me again. I wanted to enjoy him, to watch him strain with pleasure and know that I had caused it. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and he responded in kind. I caught his tongue between my teeth and bit lightly, closing my lips around it and sucking hard. He groaned, his hips coming down hard on mine. I let go and rolled over, moving to his chest, leaving a trail of kisses down his body, stopping only to nibble on his nipple, getting a manly cry out of him. I followed the trail of hair down from his bellybutton and let my tongue trace designs there. I looked up at him, but his eyes were closed tightly and his adam's apple bobbed. I unzipped his pants pulling them off with a sound tug. His boxers stretched taunt under me, but I took my time pulling them off, moving agonizingly slow, letting my hands brush his hard cock with a ghost of a touch. Pre-cum glistened on his head and I hurriedly finished pulling them off to get to it. I brought my fingers down lightly, letting my fingertips brush over every inch of him. He shuddered and moaned. I brought my tongue down to taste him before taking him in my mouth, licking him clean. His hands gripped the sheets and I realized he was trying not to cum. I slowly slipped him out.

"Bruce, it's okay." I licked the glistening material the slipped out. "Come on baby, come for me." I said as I slid him back in my mouth, massaging what I couldn't fit with my hand. A terrifying groan ripped through his throat as he came, growling my name and shaking. I sucked hard. Swallowing all the sweet liquid he shot into my mouth. "Oh God you're good." I groaned. I gave him one final lick before coming up to kiss him. His hands immediately went to my pants and I let him pull them off mercilessly, flipping on top of me with a driven ferocity. His moved to take of my panties and when he met the plentiful wetness there he groaned, deep and rough and primal. His hands tore at the delicate lace instead, tearing them off instead. I cried out in ecstasy as soon as his fingers touched my clit. He immediately moved into position, still rock and hard. In my erotic state I reached down, grabbed his balls, and squeezed. He cried out, his muscles seizing in pleasure. He threw my legs over his shoulders and thrust shallowly. I gasped and moved my hips to situate him before he thrust deep. I moaned out his name, clutching the sheets on either side of me. He moved out and in faster and faster till I was teetering on the edge begging for release. My heat pulsed, every nerve crying out for him.

"Bruce, please. Oh God, please!" He shoved deep, groaning, rubbing hard against my clit and I went under. I lost control, barely aware of him collapsing against me as he cummed inside me. My walls milked him as he did. I screamed out in pleasure, his body heavy on mine. He shook as he rode the aftershock and I panted, trying to fill my oxygen deprived lungs with air, as I whispered his name over and over again, until I felt him slip out and lay beside me, and I fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

I hadn't worked out in days. I was starting to feel like a slug. I headed down to the gym to get back into the habit.

I warmed up with stretches, my splits were a little tighter than usual and I groaned as I leaned into them. I bench pressed for a while till my arms felt wobbly. Then I moved on to abs. I pulled my knees up to my hanging body until my arms slipped off and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. It felt rejuvenating and I felt a sick pleasure in beating my body to a pulp knowing it would only make me stronger. Lastly I moved to the squat machine. Loading it up with nearly my weight I moved back. Head up, back arched. Straight down, straight up. Straight down, straight up. By the seventh one, my legs were quaking. I knew I shouldn't be in here lifting at all without a spotter. I pushed on through. Down, I eased up, too easily for the amount of weight. I furrowed my brow and went down again, this time my butt met with someone's lap. I chuckled as I strained up again, with no help this time. I racked the bar and turned around. Bruce was standing with his arms folded over his gorgeous chest.

I smiled through my exhaustion.

"Hey baby!" I leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss. I was covered in sweat and it had soaked through my dark grey tanktop, which I had ten stripped off before he had come into the room. I moved around him to the treadmill to get in my cardio. I panted as I took a gulp of water and wiped my face with my towel. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. My hair slipped out of it's knot in all directions, plastered to my forehead and neck.

Bruce watched me get on the treadmill and start my circuits. I didn't have to worry about getting distracted, I got pretty in the zone when I worked out. After the first ten minutes he came over and handed me another water bottle. I gratefully took it, my eyes thanking him, but my mouth too busy trying to provide oxygen to my muscles. He reached up and wiped a bit of dripping sweat off my cheek and it was surprisingly erotic. Now I was having trouble focusing. My feet didn't quite listen and I had to lower my speed. I turned it off after the third mile, letting the conveyor belt deposit me off the treadmill. I chugged the rest of my water bottle and moved to do my final stretches. I craned my body down to the floor. Holding my body to each leg.

"Hey baby? Can you help me out? Can you push my arms?" I said as I came up. He was staring straight at my ass and had to snap out of it.

"Wait, what? Oh ya, of course." He came over and I clasped my hands behind my back as he pushed my arms together and up. Finally I grunted as I reached my peak, at about a 100 degree angle. Bruce started to pull away.

"No, hold it there a minute." I let my muscles adjust before pulling away, moving to floor stretches. I did the splits both directions.

"Shit, I didn't know you were that flexible." He stared unabashed. I gave him a dirty wink.

"Oh, you'll find out just how flexible I am."

I finished up feeling like I'd given Bruce a floor show instead of yoga. I hopped up and popped another chaste kiss on his lips. I didn't touch him, not wanting to disgust him with my post-workout body. He leaned into the kiss, turning it into something more. His hand slid up my wet abs, still tense from my workout. I groaned and resisted the urge to go at it right there. I pulled away with one final peck.

"I'm going to go shower." I was shocked when his hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him. His hands explored my toned and quaking arms. I sighed and gave in for a moment, feeling his hands caress my slippery body.

"I love it when you wear sports bras." He whispered into my ear. No matter what all sports bras seemed to do to my boobs was showcase them, overflowing and pushed together. He reached down and grabbed my ass and my body ground against his at it's own accord. He pulled my hair out and let it fall down my back, almost touching his hand on my ass.

I loved the way Bruce kissed, all tongue and bendy lips. Finally I pulled away, Far too aware of my sweaty condition. I looked down at his shirt which was sponged darker from my sweaty body. I turned bright red from embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to go shower!"

"Maybe I'll join you." Bruce's eyebrow was cocked playfully. My eyes widened like saucers.

"You said you were flexible." He bent down to kiss my neck, the salt against his tongue eliciting a faint, throaty growl. I pulled away, my face a new shade of red entirely. He gave me one final peck on the cheek before leaving the gym.

* * *

That was the tensed shower I'd ever had. I spent the whole time wondering if Bruce would come through those doors, exposed and ready. My body squirmed in pleasure at the idea. When I finally turned off the water and the last drip trailed down the drain a wave of relief washed over me. I wrapped my towel around me and changed my clothes. Glad to be clean and back into my routine. I grabbed a post workout shake and in the decided absence of Bruce I decided to go up to see Pepper.

I knocked on the door, but got no response.

"Pep, it's me! You in there?" I called. I was about to turn and go back to the elevator when I hear a slight banging on the other side. I pressed my ear against the door. I could hear whispers and heavy breaths. A sexual moan sent me reeling away from the door in disgust.

"Oh my God! Are you guys trying?" I shouted at the door.

"You're the one who eavesdropped at our door sweetheart. It's not like we come around when you and Bruce are going at it." Tony yelled back through the door.

"How was I supposed to know you'd be shagging each other when I got up here." I was about to turn and leave but his comment irked me.

"And Bruce and I do not 'go at it'!" I yelled.

"So that's why you're so bitchy." I scoffed at the wood. He had not. I stomped away not even gracing his answer with a response.

Bruce. Bruce and his stupid anger problems. Pepper and Tony were in their room having hot sex and I was lucky if I got past first base most of the time.

* * *

The thing with Pepper and Tony was still irking me the next day. Bruce finally showed up from the lab looking tense and frustrated.

"You need to loosen up. Come on, honey." I reached out and grabbed his hand. I was determined to get to at least second base with him.

"Jarvis, do your thing!" Timber came on, pumping over the loudspeakers. I led Bruce into the center of the room. He groaned and resisted slightly, but I pulled him hard after me. I pulled him to me, rubbing from side to side. I smiled as I turned and ground up and down him. He groaned, hands on my hips, following me up and down. He turned me around to face him again and I swung leg up around him, riding up and down. I could tell he was apprehensive to join me, feeling inadequate in this department. I unwound my leg, and put my hands on his hips. I swayed them with mine. The music began to pulse and I moved his hips around in a circle, pushing them down and back up and the same time.

"Lead from your dick." I didn't intend it to come out seductive, but my voice was breathless from dancing. As he got the hang of it, moving where my hips led him, I took my hands off of his hips, moving his hands up to the sides of my breasts and easing them along my body. I stretched back to lead him to my ass. He seemed to get the picture and I didn't have to tell him to roam twice. I tilted back my head as we moved, smiling gloriously. He came down to kiss my neck and I rubbed harder. His hands tickled my sides and I giggled, biting my lip. He seemed to gain momentum, cupping my butt as he lifted me to curl around his hips. I rode him as he kissed me. He responded, pushing me up against the wall. I let my tongue hungrily follow his neck and he moaned, growing hard against me.

"Would you like me to put on something else Dr. Davenport?" Jarvis interrupted us. I looked around, realizing the music had stopped.

"No thanks Jarvis. I think that's enough." I pulled off of him and he locked me against the wall.

"Where do you think you're going?" He raised one eyebrow in defiance.

"You're loosened up, mission accomplished." I shrugged. He pushed up against me, bending down to give me a delicious open-mouthed kiss. I giggled.

"What you think that if I dance a little for you that means you get a quickie?" I squirmed against him as he kept me from escaping. He pretended to think about it for a minute.

"Well ya." He grinned like a schoolboy. I laughed and shook my head.

"I'm not that easy."

"Oh, you're gonna make me work for it." He said as he peppered my neck with kisses, nuzzling into the curls of my hair. I caught my breath and tried to stay concentrated.

"Oh, you like that?" He came down on my sweet spot soft. His lips warm and pliable. I held back a groan, but not quick enough. He tenderly suckled down and I writhed against him. He moved back up to catch my open, gasping mouth in a kiss, flicking his tongue against my top lip.

I finally pulled away then. This was too far. I still didn't know how much control he had. Patting him platonically on the chest.

"Come on Big Boy, let's get something to eat." I pushed past him and went to make dinner. I didn't see him clench his eyes shut as he tried to get control. A tinge of green seeping in and vanishing again.

* * *

I backed off for a few days, not knowing if I'd put him on edge or not. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer. My mouth hungered for his.

I poked my head in the bedroom. Bruce was laying in bed, his back propped up against the headboard, his glasses lipping down his nose a bit. This time I had gotten tired of wearing a shirt instead of my usual MO, going pantless. I guess my yoga pants were comfortable enough to keep on my body for once, but I was okay with that. Shirtless made seduction easier.

I kept quiet as I came up to the bottom of the bed. Slowly, so as not to disturb him I climbed on. I could tell Bruce was trying to focus on his book and I found it mildly irritating. I slipped up the bed till I got to his feet. Taking them in my hands I started to rub them deeply, sliding them through my hands. He smiled a bit as he read and I continued working on them. Slowly I brought my head down and gave his big toe a gentle nip. Still, he focused on his reading. No response. I was unfazed. I wasn't the type of girl to go in without a plan. Wait, actually I was, but I was surprised how easy the seduction thing came to me. I was as horny as a hornet with just as much stanima. I gently worked my way up his foot to his ankles, undeterred by his non-reaction. I moved my hands, up his legs as I went, massaging. I moved between them as I went. He was okay until I got to his thighs. I saw him close his eyes, no longer able to even feign interest in his book. I smiled at the bulge under his jeans. I kept moving until I was right there, massaging his inner thigh, tantalizingly close. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply more like he was meditating than being sexually aroused. So I stopped what I was doing and slid over the top of him instead till I was sitting, feeling him under me. I leaned forward, around his book, letting my hot breath tickle his ear.

"Hey Bruce, remember that kinky sex you promised me?" I let myself pause, so only my breathing filled his ears, my red lace bra pressed against his chest.

"I want to make good on that" I pulled back and looked down at his stony face. Damn, he really was unbreakable. He wasn't playing along and ignoring me, he was seriously phasing me out. He moved only to set down his book. Something was up. I swung off of him abruptly and knelt next to him.

"Damn it Bruce, I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was still a problem. It's just we've done it two times before and I guess I hoped it magically disappeared." I watched as he relaxed just a little, his pants settling just a bit. My brow furrowed as I replayed moments in my mind. We had got hot and heavy before and nothing seemed to be wrong, but it never went anywhere.

"Has this been happening the other times?" I asked reluctantly, if not cautiously. How many times had I risked unleashing the Hulk because I thought we were safe because we could have tender sex. Hell, was he even safe then?

"All the other times?" No answer. Had he even been able to enjoy the times we did do it? Or was he pushing away the Hulk the whole time? All those times I had been so selfish, seeking gratification, assuming he was fine, but never asking. All the while he fought off the Hulk. I thought back to when we would dance together, how he would disappear afterward, just like he had after the gym, whenever we got near hot and heavy. Even just sleeping together sometimes I would wake up and find him gone, sleeping on the couch with a quite documentary playing in the background.

Finally, he opened up his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bruce." I could barely get the ashamed sound out of me.

After something like this usually happened I got up and dressed like a nun, making myself as non arousing as I could, leaving him to collect himself before returning.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who can't deliver, who can't give you what you want. What kind of man am I? I am the one who should be sorry." I couldn't let him think like that.

"Bruce, don't talk like that. You do give me what I want. Everyday when I wake up with you and even on the days I don't and you've slipped down to the lab. You take away my nightmares. You protect me and provide for me. Yes you also keep me warm, and yes I do appreciate that one. I do hate the cold, but that's not it Bruce. All of that is still not it." I implored him to understand, to look into my eyes and see my heart, laid out for him.

"Because you understand me in a way that no one else does. I've lived my life in fear that I will die and no one will never know who I really am, but I don't have to anymore, because you do. You complete me. You bring out everything I ever loved about myself and help me tolerate the rest. We could live in a cardboard box, eat out of trash cans, and I could have nightmares every night, but I would still love you and you would still give me what I want, even in the freezing cold." I didn't stop there. I refused to let him sink into his own self-pity.

"Because you do deliver. Granted you don't always see it, but I do. I see you make me dinner and put extra pepper on mine because you know that's how I like it. I see you make little notes of cute things I do or say. I see you take care of us. I see you look at me out of the corner of your eye and I know that you love me, without even saying a word. You are a Doctor. You healed all my broken pieces and fixed me up. I won't give up on you just because you're broken too. I'm going to deliver right back. I'm going to keep wanting you. Wanting you to beat me at scrabble again, wanting you to brush my hair when I get out of the shower. Wanting you to still want to kiss my in the morning even when I haven't brushed my teeth yet, want to be a better person because of you. You can pull away all you want Banner, but that won't make you more of a man. Because in my book you're the greatest man who ever lived. And I'll be damned if I let anyone else think otherwise." I gripped his shirt tightly in my fist as I ended.

"I love you Bruce Banner, every broken piece of you."

I let go of him and stormed out of the room. I wasn't angry persay, but the adrenaline pumping through my body told me otherwise. I needed to let off my pent up steam. If anything I was the opposite of angry, I was in such fervor over my love that it was burning inside me. I walked out onto the balcony, the cold winter air nipping desperately at my bare skin, but it made me feel alive, cooling down the impossibly hot swelter inside my bones. I sat crisscross applesauce on the cool marble tile letting the wind whip my hair. I could hear the radio faintly in the background I had left it on all that time. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas wafted toward me, a ghost of a sound. I closed my eyes and imagined my first Christmas morning with Bruce, probably Pepper and Tony too, would be like. The only green making an appearance being the tree. I smiled to myself at the idea. All of together. A real Christmas not alone. The first one in five years.

My breaths came steady and even know, only disturbed by the slightest shivers when my hair would brush the nape of my neck, like a ghostly pair of lips. In that moment, with only the darkness surrounding me and the cold of the night lapping at my body I found peace. Bruce had gone all the way to India to find what I found right here, on this balcony, half dressed. In that moment I had no doubts, everything melted away until it was only me. Me and my peace. It never occurred to to me to think about my problems, or how they would return when I was done. I only knew freedom.

Something stirred behind me but it didn't pull me out. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it felt strange, almost far away.

"Karissa."

"Karissa it's snowing, you'd better get inside." With one final exhale I opened my eyes. I looked at Bruce, his hair was flecked with white snowflakes. I complied as he helped pull me up. A whoosh of warmth met me through the door. It sent a shiver through my spine but I sighed in delight. I stood at the window, looking out over the city as soft, white snowflakes fell. The reflection of our brightly lit christmas tree framing the picture.

I heard Bruce set something down, but I didn't want to tear myself away from this, to lose this feeling.

"Karissa you were right. I think you always are. I don't want to pretend that never happened, everything you just said. I want to let your words sink in and brand my heart. I love you Kariss. Loving you is easy and hard all at the same time. I love you nonetheless. It's all worth it to me."

He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back against him.

"How are we going to make this work?" I heaved.

"One step at a time, just like we always have."

He led me to the couch and we ate our gingerbread cookies and eggnog, not the hard kind of course, both my holiday favorites, but I could feel the tension in our relationship. We needed to talk about this eventually. I didn't even know how far we could go anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

"Jarvis how many cups have I added?"

"What are you doing?" I tried to ignore the exasperation in Bruce's voice. He was standing in the entryway watching my miserable attempt at baking. I scowled at the flour covered recipe in front of me in an attempt to channel him out.

"I'm making Christmas cookies of course. We need Christmas traditions." This was supposed to be fun and lighthearted, and simple.

"By making bad cookies?" I could hear the chuckle in his voice. It must have been humorous, seeing me covered in flour, the whole kitchen looking like an atom bomb hit it. He didn't understand. I needed this. I had to do this, had to focus on something so I wouldn't be stuck in the past. I doubled my efforts.

"They are my mom's recipe. Now come make Christmas memories. I've had five Christmases alone. So just humor me." I slammed the measuring cup down haphazardly and tried yet again to decipher the recipe. I felt arms graze around my waist to pull me up against his chest. It was then I realized somewhere along the lines of yelling and ranting I had started crying.

"You're not alone." He hot breath teased my hair. I looked around at the chaos I had created in an attempt to make the perfect Christmas when in reality I was trying to forget. An undecorated tree surrounded by boxes dominated the living room. The kitchen was a disaster. I hadn't gotten dinner ready yet, and I was in tears.

"We'll have a good Christmas together kitten, I promise." He kissed the top of my head and held me there for a minute while I gained composure.

"So how do we make these cookies?" He wiped the flour from the recipe, sending it all over me.

"How about we start a different tradition?" I said through half-tears that melted into laughter. I threw a handful of flour at Bruce.

"Oh, it's on!"

* * *

Bruce and I were sitting on the couch after work when he brought up the tree.

"Baby, we really need to decorate that. Half the needles are already falling off." I sighed and snuggled further into his arms.

"I know, I just haven't had one in a while. I don't know how I'll handle it." He stood up from beneath me, leaving me splayed on the couch.

"Come on. This is a new chance. Besides, I want these boxes out of here." He attempted to pull me up but I went limp, refusing to be pulled from my residency on the couch. "Karissa." He half asked, have commanded.

"Bruce I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can face all this. It wasn't till this year that I finally opened up about their death." Bruce brought himself down to look me in the eye, sitting on the backs of his calves.

"Karissa. You can do this. The memories don't have to be sad. You can still enjoy Christmas, that doesn't make you a bad person, that doesn't mean you've forgotten them. It means you love them and you want to take advantage of the life you've been given. They would want you to be happy. To remember them as they were, not as a headstone." His dark eyes implored me to listen, looking into the deepest parts of myself and understanding. I nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. His hand stayed from mine to wipe a tear I hadn't known to loose from my cheek. He gently tugged my arm again and this time I got up with him.

"Now I want to see every embarrassing ornament you ever made for your parents." I laughed and opened up one of the many boxes clogging up the room.

The first ornament was the hardest. I could remember the story that went with each one, but Bruce was patient as we put them up, with more laughing than crying. When it was all done we stood back to look at our masterpiece.

"It looks like Whoville threw up on it." I laughed. Bruce squeezed my hand and chuckled. Before leaning down to catch my smiling mouth in a kiss.

"I love you." He looked me deep in the eye, knowing that though I was enjoying myself I still harbored pain. I lightly caressed his face, his graying stubble tickling my fingertips.

"Merry Christmas." He kissed me again, and I laughed into his mouth as he held me tighter to him, pulling me up around his hips. I giggled as I pulled away.

"Well someone is feeling the Christmas spirit!" He took my lips once again and I gave his bottom lip a playful nip.

"What can I say, I have the best Christmas present ever." We kissed again, deepening it unintentionally, bringing some of our passion to the surface.

"I have something for you." This time Bruce pulled away. He set me down carefully, like I was a china doll and went to our room. He returned with a little clear box. Inside was a beautiful glass ball with the words, "Our First Christmas" written on it. I couldn't hid the satisfied smile that teased the corners of my lips. We were in this. I wasn't going to give up on him and neither would he give up on us.

"I love it." I gently took it out and placed it on the heavily decorated tree, its beauty alone making it stand out against the rest. Bruce took me in his arms once again.

"See, you're just like the Grinch. You don't hate Christmas, you were just lonely." I laughed, my hands roaming his body of their own accord.

"I thought it was because his shoes were too tight and his heart was three sizes too small." Bruce was peppering my skin with kisses at this point.

"Hmmm…" I heard and felt him say into the crook of my neck. "I don't know about the heart, but we could see about those shoes…." He backed me onto the coach so I fell back into it. I flicked off my slippers brought him down on top of me.

"I think we're just going to need to do a little more investigating." He nuzzled further down my body and it made me shiver and giggle like a schoolgirl.

"Bruce, you're a scientist I'm sure you'll figure it out." He kissed my breasts through my shirt and I gasp in delight. He smiled, his eyes looking up at my pleasure, drinking it in. His hands grasp my hips and he brought them up to meet his. I sighed and he brought his mouth to mine again. I kissed him hungrily. When he broke to tease my body again I stopped him.

"Bruce you know we can't do this." He looked at me, this time his eyes reflecting a deep sadness. He kissed me one last time, lingering on my lips and my taste.

"I know." He lifted himself off and sat me up so he could join me on the couch in his arms.

"Let's watch The Grinch." I suggested and he laughed, but it was still tainted with sadness, and a twinge of regret.

"Alright. Maybe then we'll figure out what the Grinch's real psychological problems are." I laughed and it brought us both back to the moment, to enjoy it together.

* * *

Pepper knocked on the door while I was finishing wrapping some last minute presents.

"Come in!" Bruce and I had done shopping separately. I loved the holiday stores and seeing all the window displays and the city lit up with Christmas cheer. Bruce shopped online and what he couldn't find there he sent Happy of Tony for. The holiday crowds made him more jumpy than usual, although I really wanted to go out with him I didn't push the issue.

"Miss Davenport?" I started at the formality. A man's voice addressed me, nothing like Pepper's. I looked up slowly from my half-wrapped gift. Definitely not Pepper. I stood abruptly.

"Bruce home yet?" He seemed perfectly comfortable and it unsettled me.

"No." I knew my voice betrayed my caution. "He's still at the lab." Neither of us moved.

"Huh." That was it. He continued to look around sizing me and the place up.

"Do you want me to get him?" To tell the truth I was getting uneasy and I wondered if Jarvis had missed a security breach.

"No, that's alright." Maybe he didn't want me to go get Bruce, but I wanted to. There was a stranger standing in my house. An awkward one at that. Or maybe I just wasn't being a good hostess.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" He refocused his attention from the apartment back to me.

"Oh, sorry. Clint Barton." He held out his hand, but I hesitated to take it. His grip was firm and confident.

"Karissa Davenport." He gave me an appraising look.

"I'm guessing Bruce didn't tell you I was coming?" I resisted the urge to scoff. No, no he hadn't. I involuntarily narrowed my eyes. Working at Stark towers had made me skeptical, but dating Bruce had only made it worse.

"No." It was more biting than I meant it. I was getting more and more on edge. My mind silently played out deadly scenarios. How long had it been since I'd had someone in our home? That wasn't Tony, Pepper, or Happy.

My attention was drawn to the door before I could say anything further, which was perhaps for the best. Bruce's tired frame lumbered through, his back turned as he shut the door. I let out an internal sigh of relief. When he turned he seemed as surprised by the situation as I was. All three of us stood in awkward, frozen silence.

"Bruce, honey, did you forget to tell me something?" He looked between Clint and me, catching the slight venom in my words. I wasn't really mad, but my fear drove me to angry like symptoms. He visibly shook off his surprise and stepped forward.

"Ya, sorry, this is Clint. I, uh, forgot to tell you he was coming, or rather, I wanted it to be a surprise." He smiled at Clint. "How's it going?" They shook hands firmly, but friendly as they spoke.

"Good. Natasha couldn't make it quite yet. She had a debriefing but she should be here later tonight."

"Good, good." Bruce headed over to me and took my rigid body in his arms, pulling me forward toward him by the waist. His earlier exhaustion seemingly dissipated.

"Honey, what is he doing here." I knew he could probably hear and I was being rude, but I wanted a small Christmas with us and Tony and Pepper. Our little family. I didn't want to share our first Christmas with strangers.

"Relax Karissa. You said you didn't want to be alone for Christmas. So, meet my family." He nuzzled into my ear and I was too startled to register his affection. Bruce had made a family for himself. It dawned on me that the Avengers were his family. I tried to pull away.

"Bruce the Avengers are your team." He looked me straight in the eye.

"No, they're my family." He kissed me on the cheek and turned to Clint.

"So, can I get you a drink?"


	15. Chapter 15

We talked with Clint for a while before he went to get settled in his room. Stark tower often housed the Avengers so they all had rooms here ready for them at all times. As soon as left I cornered Bruce.

"Wait, so all of them are coming?" I was trying not to hyperventilate as I thought of meeting all those new people at once. It was a week till Christmas. Images of an influx of strangers plagued my mind.

"It will be fine. You need to meet them sometime." I sighed and tried to shoo away the images of a proverbial pack of vultures from my mind.

"Besides, none of them really have any place to go." I sighed as I looked around our festive living space. It was adorned tastefully in wreathes and bows, except for the tree which still sagged under too many ornaments. My eyes caught Bruce's gift and I frowned. This was our first Christmas, I had imagined it so differently. I wasn't sure if I really even minded the Avengers, I was just trying to come to terms with Christmas being different than I had imagined.

"It's alright Bruce. I want them here." I made the decision as I said it. I would. I did. I wanted a full table at Christmas dinner, the friendly banter, the exchange of gifts. Bruce leaned down to kiss me.

"It'll be special I promise." I nodded and hugged him, holding onto him like a life preserver.

"What am I supposed to get them for Christmas!" I laughed. I closed my eyes to enjoy the rumble of Bruce's laughter in his chest. I missed laughing with him. The beginning of our relationship had been so full of laughter, but both of us had too much baggage and sometimes it had to be unpacked. It was hard, but I could feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. Bruce was saving me and I was saving him.

Clint was right, by that night everyone was there for dinner. I was a little overwhelmed, but they weren't anything like I expected. Even Thor was there. That was probably the most unsettling of all, having an alien of sorts eating at our dinner table. Steve was an utter gentleman and the most into the holiday spirit. He was thrilled with our tree, declaring it a work of old-fashioned Christmas spirit. Tony declared it unfit for public, and a fire hazard.

"Hey, we worked hard on that tree! What did you get a pre-lit one?" I quipped. Tony sneered at me.

"No, a pre-lit, pre-decorated one." I laughed and he grinned with me. "Of course Pepper had to rearrange everything once we got it until it passed her flawless judgment."

"I'm glad to hear you acknowledge it as flawless." She said with a rewarding kiss on his cheek. He grinned sheepishly at me when I raised a teasing eyebrow.

"What can I say, she's domesticated me." I laughed. The room was beginning to fall into its normal dynamic, that I was quickly finding my way around.

"I do not understand this Misgardian holiday." Thor informed everyone. Steve jumped at the chance to share his knowledge and over-excitement for all things Christmas. He seemed a little bit like a kid inside, but he carried himself like a man, and everything about him said he was a leader.

Clint and Natasha were obviously together, though it was played off lightly. Not like Bruce and my own relationship or Tony and Pepper.

"If it is a time for family might I invite my own Jane to join us for the festivities. Lady Davenport, is that to your liking?" He addressed me as the hostess and I was momentarily taken aback. Of course, most of them have their significant other. I thought of spending the holiday without Bruce and it made my heart wrench.

"Of course, if any of you have anyone you would like to come, go right ahead. I mean, if it's okay with Tony, this is his, house, uh tower." Tony shrugged to show he didn't care.

"Then I shall invite Jane and Darcy to join us." Steve seemed to perk up at the mention of Darcy, He caught my eye as he did and blushed. I gave him a gentle smile. His secret was safe with me.

"So much for a small Christmas, huh?" Bruce whispered in my ear. I laughed.

"Oh stop, this is wonderful." I turned to him seriously though. "Thank you Bruce. Really. You were right." He kissed me quickly before giving me a smug grin.

"You wanna say that one more time, maybe a little louder?" I laughed and gave him a playful shove.

"Nope, that's the only time you're going to hear it." Tony gave Bruce a man to man look.

"Seriously, don't push it. They're always right." Pepper scoffed but couldn't hide her satisfaction and Bruce chuckled. It was getting late. Clint and Natasha had remained quite most of the evening and retired first. I got the feeling holidays weren't really their thing. When it was finally just Bruce and I loading dishes into the sink I spoke up.

"Do you think they liked me? I mean, do you think they're okay with this? I mean it's a big deal, bringing someone new into any dynamic let alone a family and a team."

"Yes, Karissa. I think they liked you. But honestly I couldn't care less. Because I love you." He pulled me from the kitchen to our bedroom.

"Besides, I get jealous, and I don't want anyone liking you more than me." He kissed me before peeling of my shirt for bed and returning to my lips.

"What's not to like?" He began changing into his pajamas and I took the opportunity to admire his body.

"You're funny," his shirt came off first, exposing his firm chest and abdomen. I bit my lip as I resisted the urge to tease his chest hair.

"You're beautiful," his pants. Leaving him in only his boxers, his firm butt tantalizingly close to view. His powerful legs that could pin my down easily.

"You're strong and determined." He pulled his pajama pants up, hanging them dangerously low on his hips, exposing a slight V on his lower body. He walked back toward me.

"Stubborn as hell." He kissed me again.

"Caring." His lips grazed my cheekbone.

"Mysterious." They trailed down to my jawline.

"Seductive." Onto my neck.

"Playful." Still lower to my collarbone.

"Intelligent." Still lower. I was having trouble concentrating on his words.

"Loyal." He placed wet open mouth kisses on the tops of my breasts before returning back up to capture my mouth in a passionate kiss.

"You are so much person. Anyone would be an idiot not to love you. Which is why I intent to remind you, every single day." He kissed me again before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth and keep getting ready for bed.

I undressed and dressed in my sleepwear slowly. My mind faraway. I loved Bruce Banner. I loved him. His every move was beautiful to me. I could never hate him. I couldn't even hate the Hulk, because he was part of him. When we finally slipped into bed together, spooning tightly together, his thumb gently caressing my freckled shoulder, my words found me.

"You are the greatest man I have ever known." Neither one of us spoke after that. We just held each other, knowing we'd spoken the complete and utter truth. We didn't doubt each other. And in that moment we realized our mutual and complete trust.


	16. Chapter 16

The sun teased through the curtains in soft beams of light. I snuggled closer to Bruce to try and drift back to sleep. My foot reaching out blindly for him so I could touch him. It helped me drift to sleep. I didn't open my eyes, just rooted blindly for him in the bed.

"Karissa baby we have to get up." My movements woke him up. I whimpered and drew closer against hid bare chest, decidedly ignoring the hardness against my abdomen. He audibly sighed.

"Come on kitten, we have guests remember." I ignored him, taking in his warmth. He smelled intoxicating, musky and manly. I nuzzled into the hair on his chest, eyes still close.

"Hmmm…" I ignored him, slinging one leg over him to increase our closeness. He laughed just a little, his voice still holding its morning gruffness. I kissed him tenderly before finally opening my eyes to look up at him. He was watching me. His eyes shining with affection. I kissed him tenderly on his lips. We ignored our morning breath and continued kissing, are lips moving in a dance together we'd learned perfectly. My hand ran up and down his chest and I reveled in the feeling. I let my mind imagine a morning quickie and I found myself pressing harder against him. He gave me one final peck on the lips before slipping out of bed. I inwardly groaned, giving up the fight. I lay in bed a little while longer as he got up and got in the shower.

I still had to find Bruce the perfect present, not to mention some for the rest of the guests. I had thought over and over about what to get him, but nothing fit. He came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Bruce?" He was sifting through his drawers.

"Hmmm?"

"What do you want for Christmas?" He laughed as if the question was extremely comical. I was being serious, but he couldn't see that, his attention still focused on his wardrobe.

"I don't want anything, really. I'm fine." He was still chuckling when I continued.

"No really." I implored. He shook his head.

"An autoclave." I knew he was joking and if I wasn't so serious about the whole thing I would have laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Bruce, if you could have anything, anything at all, what would it be?" He stilled now, no longer laughing, deep in thought, silence enveloping the room.

"One night. One night with you, no Hulk, no distractions. Just us." He didn't look at me. He couldn't.

"I can't give you that Bruce." My heart ached, not only because I wanted it too, but because I didn't want him to feel ashamed. Ashamed of his desires, of the Hulk, or any part of him. "I'm sorry."

"No, I can't give that to you." I could sense his growing resentment.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You can't keep blaming yourself-" I was tired of him feeling belittled by the Other Guy all the time, but he interrupted.

"You want to blame yourself? What did you do? What it's your fault I'm a giant green rage monster? Or wait somehow being beautiful makes you at fault here. It's your fault I fell in love with you? Is that it? Grow up. It's not your fault. You don't have the deadly alter ego here. You aren't a constant danger to everyone around you." I watched him monologue, unable to move. Tears threatened, searing at my eyes. He glared at me for another hard minute before he turned back to the dresser. He grabbed his stuff and slammed the drawer aggressively. I jumped a bit, but I couldn't shake the sadness that had swept over me. He turned abruptly to the closet, his back rigid.

"Bruce, the Hulk has never hurt me, you have." He froze there, in front of the closet. For a moment I thought he might say something, his body poised to turn, but he grabbed his stuff and shut the bathroom door after him. I fell back on the bed, utterly defeated.

I regretted the words as soon as I said them. I had used something Bruce had told me in confidence against him. Played out his worst fear. I had fought dirty. In that moment I hated myself.

I hadn't lied though. Bruce's words had hurt me, cutting deep. I had never "met" the Hulk. I couldn't help but think that if I could, I would gain his trust, show him he didn't have to be afraid of me, or lose control. It was a pipe dream though and Bruce would never agree to it.

The bathroom door opened slowly, almost fifteen minutes later.

"Bruce?" I wanted to apologize. I knew I couldn't take it back, but I desperately wanted to make it right. As he passed the bed to get to the door he stopped.

"Buy yourself some lingerie. That'll make us both happy." He kissed my forehead. I knew it was a tease, a lighthearted comment to make us both feel better, but it left me feeling just as empty, and when the door shut I felt alone.

"Hello." I offered in false cheer when I finally emerged from my room, numb and quiet.

"Good morning Miss." Steve sat in the kitchen by himself with a cup of coffee. When he looked up the conversation took on a more skeptical air.

"You alright?" I thought about lying. I was too hurt though and it would only fester if I ignored it.

"Bruce and I got into an argument." I didn't look up from my coffee to his reaction. Pity or not I couldn't take any of it.

"He'll forgive you." I looked up then with a wistful smile.

"I'm not so sure he will."

"He loves you. Love is forgiveness." The depth of my hurt slowly crept onto my face.

"I love him too Steve, so much it hurts sometimes. He is so afraid of the Other Guy, he refuses to see that I'm not." Steve looked concerned, but also cautionary as he tried not to further upset me.

"Maybe you should be." He set down his cup of coffee and leaned toward me. He had turned serious. "On the helicarrier, before the attack on New York, the Hulk almost killed Agent Romanoff. The Hulk is dangerous, you can't domesticate him like a cat."

"But by the end he was helping you guys, fighting the aliens, not the team. He saved Tony. He's not stupid. He's a hero."

"He also punched Thor."

"Sometimes I want to punch Thor too!" Steve's jaw set, he was started to get frustrated, but I refused to be dissuaded. "Don't you get it? I love Bruce. I can't be afraid of part of him and I don't want to be shut out of part of his life."

"That's not for you to decide Karissa. He's trying to protect you." He was getting frustrated now, but I was gaining momentum.

"Do you know what it's like? To love somebody so deeply, so wholly and not be able to touch them?" I hit a chord with him, I knew it. "To have made love to them and then never be able to make love to them again? To never be able to fully be together? Do you know what it's like to never know if it is even safe to touch the person to love? To wonder if at any moment your love could create a monster?" He pitied me now, I could see it in my eyes and it only fueled my bitter rant, my harsh feelings now directed at him. "I will never win as long as Bruce continues to see himself as a monster. What does that make me? Loving a man that's a monster?"

"Karissa, you said it yourself, he's a hero, not a monster." He reached out to comfort me but I shook my head and pulled away.

"That's not what you think and that's not what he thinks. So do not lie to me to make the pain go away. We both know pain Captain. We've both lost everyone who ever meant something to us and had to build a new life. So don't try to put a Band-Aid on my pain. I've lost everything before and now that I've found this. Found Bruce. I'm never letting go. You can say he's a monster, but I know he's not. The Other Guy saves lives. He's saved Bruce's life over and over again and I have to believe he would do the same for me." Steve was humbled now, mute and paralyzed.

"Bruce can try as hard as he wants to get rid of me, to protect me, call it what you will, but I am staying. I'm in it for the long haul." I slammed my coffee cup down when I finished, just soft enough to keep it in one piece. My breathing was labored and as the adrenaline faded I felt ashamed.

"Look Steve, I'm sorry, I'm just on edge, and upset. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." I looked up at him to find myself facing the rest of the Avengers, including who I assumed was Jane and Darcy. Embarrassment flowed my whole body. I was humiliated with nowhere to go. I could tell be the look on their faces they had all overheard the whole thing from the dining room table. I bit back a sob and looked away. My labored breaths turned to sobs as I struggled to wrap my emotions and my mind around everything that had happened that morning. Tears beckoned to be released and I didn't have the energy to keep them back. They flowed freely down my cheeks as turned to retreat to my room, to will the situation away. As I turned Steve reached out to stop me but I shrunk away from his touch. Natasha looked almost freaked out, as if I belonged in an insane asylum. I had never seen so much pity in Tony's eyes before, nor did I expect ever to again. My gaze skimmed every shocked face, momentarily resting on Bruce. He stood, as if frozen in time. I imagined Steve looking much the same way when they found him, except Bruce wasn't serene. He was shocked, his eyes stormy with thoughts I couldn't read. Pepper stepped forward to say something but I couldn't listen. I ran for my room, locking the door behind me.

I didn't know what to do. For a millisecond I considered leaving, but I couldn't. As mortifying as it all was, I loved Bruce. I felt like my heart was breaking inside my chest and all I could do was crumple to the ground, my despair enveloping me for the time being. Every once in a while I heard whispering outside over my quite sobs. No one attempted to enter.

* * *

"Miss Davenport. Dr. Banner is requesting entry." Jarvis said quietly, aware of the delicate nature of the situation. Even he seemed afraid of me, like I was a ticking time bomb. Jarvis even pitied me. "I'm going to let him enter Miss Davenport." I supposed Tony had overridden the system, but I didn't move. I didn't try to stop it.

I heard the door open behind me and footsteps approach, stopping just short of where I lay, huddled in a pathetic bundle, as if trying to hold all my broken pieces together.

"Karissa-" He started but I didn't let him finish.

"How much did you hear?" My breaths came mostly even now after almost an hour to calm down.

"The whole thing." I didn't respond to that, I remained quiet, and so did he as if waiting for me to go on.

"Karissa I am trying to protect you. I don't know what I did to deserve you. I can't lose you. I need you. I've traveled the world to find what is right here in your arms. I lose you, but you can't pretend the Other Guy isn't dangerous."

"We're all dangerous. Life is dangerous. My family took a car trip to a movie and they got hit by a drunk driver and died. Stark built an energy-efficient tower and unwittingly helped power an alien invasion. People's bodies stop working right and they die all the time. Life is dangerous. Living is dangerous. We're all just postponing pain and death, but it is unavoidable. What we have Bruce, it's dangerous, but not anymore than waking up everyday. Not to me."

"You don't always get the last word Karissa. I give it to you a lot of the time, but it isn't always yours and just this once, it's mine. You do not get to decide how much control I have over the Hulk. You do not get to decide whether he is dangerous or not. He is scary. You should be scared. He kills people. He has killed innocent people. He is not a Savior. So help me God I will look for a cure and I will fight for you and I will fight this, but it is still here Karissa. He is dangerous. You need to see that."

"Bruce when are you going to realize He is part of you and stop trying to fight him? You heard what Tony said. The gamma radiation could have just been enough to bring him out." Bruce brought himself down so we were finally looking each other in the eye.

"You're trying to get the last word again." He sighed.

"It's because I'm always right." I half-attempted a joke. He smiled, but it was sad, pained.

"Not this time kitten, not this time."

* * *

Author's Note: More of the Avenger's Christmas to come that will then lead into Pepper's big news! The story is not dead! I'm just working on it trying to figure out how to solve the Bruce-Hulking-out-when-they-try-to-be-close problem. It is causing a lot of tension but don't worry, they make it through. Karissa and Bruce are strong. They're going to find their way back to their sweet relationship. They aren't always going to be defensive like they are now. They are just in love and afraid and Bruce won't open up his eyes to see that Karissa (although hurt from her families death) is the best thing that ever happened to him and that she is the sunshine of his life. That's what Karissa always was from the start, a ray of sunshine, and once this cloud clears, she'll be right as rain!


	17. Chapter 17

I turned my fine coarse adjustment knob on my microscope to focus in on the cell closer. It was almost there, the image so close to optimum clarity.

"Karissa!" Tony's voice sounded over the intercom that the normally aesthetically pleasing Jarvis's did. I jumped and my hand twitched, wreaking havoc on my slide focus. I groaned and bent back over it, trying to quickly recuperate from the damage.

"Karissa! I need you in the penthouse." I groaned and fiddled with more knobs.

"This is an emergency." I ignored Tony and worked with the sample, it would only be observable in good condition for a few more hours. Besides, Tony's version of an emergency was running out of alcohol. Whatever it was, it could wait.

"When have I ever called you Karissa?" My hands stopped mid turn. He made a good point. His voice laced with urgency. Pepper had to be in trouble. I grabbed my briefcase and slammed my hand on the elevator button. Jarvis took me up automatically.

* * *

"What took you so long?" Tony waited at the entrance of the elevator doors for me. Ambushing me as soon as the doors opened.

"Get yourself a faster elevator then. Where's Pepper?"We both let the dig slide in our worry.

"She refused to see any doctor but you. Bathroom, master suite." I followed him back to the bathroom, my urgency lifting with suspicion. Pepper was on the floor, curled around the toilet, hair pulled back haphazardly.

"What's up Buttercup?" I cringed as she dry heaved in response.

"That good aye?" I fell to my knees and rubbed her back. Before turning to Tony, who stood helpless at the doorway.

"Go get some warm damp towels, some ginger tea, Pepper's favorite cologne, and water." Tony was worried sick and he didn't even question my strange list.

Pepper hunched over the toilet again as he left.

"Ya, that'll last the first trimester so I'd get used to it…" I rubbed her lower back, loosening the nerves to keep her from heaving. "You might try naming your toilet, you'll be seeing a lot of it."

"You mean I'm-"

"Pregnant? Got a bun in the oven, knocked up, the whole nine yards?" I smiled gently at her with a laugh.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I brought a test just in case, but all the dots connect."

"Ugh." More dry heaving. I didn't even wince. As an intern I'd had a women puke in my lap.

"I'm so happy." She said into the toilet bowl.

"I know Pep. I know. Now let's try to retain some fluids while I run the tests." By this time Tony returned with all the items in his arms, still unaware of the implications of what was going on.

"Great! You have the stuff." I took it from his arms and gestured to Pepper. He easily scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed where I had pulled back the blankets. The sheets were luxuriously soft.

"Damn, Bruce has got to get some of these." I mumbled. No wonder she got pregnant, they were probably doing it every night with these sheets. Actually knowing Tony, they were probably doing it every night anyway. I wasn't so sure I wanted to be toughing them anymore.

Tony gently let her down, brushing her bangs from her face. Tony became my official nurse for the day and I relished the opportunity to boss him around briefly.

"Put this on the back of her neck." I handed him the warm damp cloth. He gingerly lifter her exhausted head and rested it there. It was 11:00 and I figured she'd been like this all morning. She rightfully deserved some sleep.

"Spray this on her pillow." Tony gave me a strange look, but I wanted him to trust me before I gave him an explanation. He did so and as the scent settled in Pepper's head sunk further, her muscles physically relaxing, her breathing deepening. Tony looked at my in amazement. I wasn't conceited enough to think it was entirely because I was so clever. He seemed more amazed his cologne had that effect on her.

"What?" I shrugged. "Women know women." I stooped down to caress her hair for a while I spoke.

"Pepper I need you to drink this tea and the water. The ginger will settle your stomach, but if you don't drink it you'll get dehydrated and I'll have to do an IV. This is a much better option trust me." I moved away, grabbing my stuff, including the pharmacy test and a sample for my own in office test. The stick had a little plus sign on it. I put it in a baggy and hid it from Tony's view. I wanted Pepper to be able to tell him. He followed me to the elevator.

"So she's going to be okay?" I smiled at him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"More than okay. She'll be right as rain after a nap." The elevator opened and I stepped inside.

"Make sure she stays hydrated and feed her whatever she can stomach." I gave a final smile before the doors closed and I went back down to my lab.

My specimen was bad by now, but I didn't care. I immediately ran Pepper's tests and confirmed my suspicions. I was still smiling when I headed home from work, wondering when she would tell him.

* * *

Bruce was at the table working when I came in, his glasses slipping down his nose. He looked up when I came in and smiled back.

"What's got you so cheery." My smile widened and I stripped my annoying formal blouse off and shoes off.

"Oh nothing." My eyes sparkled with secret knowledge. I went to the fridge and pulled out some leftover Thai which I dug into without microwaving.

"Oh, it's most definitely something."

I grinned through a bite of pad Thai noodles. Shaking my head in confirmation that my lips were sealed.

"Well how is Pepper then?" My eyes flashed with delight and I stiffled a giggle.

"Doctor patient confidentiality." Bruce rolled his eyes.

I got up and went back to the kitchen for a glass of water. Bruce's eyes fell to the spilled contents of my purse.

"Honey what's this?" I finished getting my glass of water and turned around. Bruce stood holding the bagged pregnancy test in his hands, white as a sheet.

"I know isn't it great! I must have forgotten to leave it in the lab."

Bruce's jaw twitched aggressively and he set the bag back down. His eyes ringed with green and I froze in my steps.

"Bruce are you alright?" I stepped forward and he lashed out, sweeping the contents of the table onto the floor. I jumped back in surprise, accidently dropping my glass. It fell to the ground with a loud crash, sending shards of glass across the floor. Bruce turned his attention to me, seething.

"Bruce?" For the first time I was afraid of him. His chest moved up and down sporadically with his breath and his veins pumped wildly.

"Bruce, it's Pepper's test. She's pregnant. They've been trying for two months." I stepped forward to try and talk him down and cringed as I stepped in the shards of glass. Bruce seemed to be trying to wrap his head around the idea, still unclear, his heart rate still racing. His skin was a bit green now. I had to act quick. I brought my foot up again, looking at the glass laced floor apprehensively. I brought my feet down one after the other, cringing in pain as I made my way to him, till I held him in my arms.

"Bruce. P-e-p-p-e-r is pregnant. Tony and Pepper are having a baby. You're fine. Everyone is happy, well except you." I brushed his curls away from his face. His eyes were still mostly brown and I could see him gaining control, winning his mental battle with the Hulk. I sighed as he came down. We held each other for a minute and I tried keeping my mind off of the pain in the pads of my feet.

"The kitchen was a mess at this point. Bruce looked around at his scattered papers and the glass. Drips of red led a trail from where I was standing to my feet.

"Karissa? Are you okay?" I pulled away from him and he looked down at my feet. Blood was seeping out between my toes.

"What the hell? What did you do? He hoisted me onto the table so he could inspect my feet. Shards of glass were embedded in my feet, dripping blood. I could see Bruce trying to maintain control, seeing my blood nearly setting him off again.

"Shh. Bruce honey i'm okay. Nothing some tweezers can't fix." I stroked his upper arm till he could look at my feet again.

"I literally just walked across shards of glass for you? How many girlfriends can say that? Next up bed of nails." I joked. He didn't seem impressed by the joke, which was a shame, because it really was very clever. I meant what I said though. I would do it again for him in a heartbeat. He grabbed a pair of tweezers from the medicine cabinet first aid kit and gingerly pulled out the first piece of glass. I winced, but gave him a brave smile when he looked up at me.

He worked methodically and thoroughly. his touch was extra careful and when he couldn't get anymore out with the tweezers he carried me to the bathroom, carefully bathing my feet in the bathtub under the running water.

I waited to bring up the incident because I didn't want him losing control. I slipped off my pants which were bloody and wet at the hem and he carried me to bed like that after he wrapped my feet in gauze.

"Ugh, I hate having my feet covered." I complained as he laid me down. He didn't find it funny, which in truth neither did I. I really hated having my feet covered. Bruce turned to leave, probably to clean up the mess.

"Bruce wait, let the maid get it." He stood there, between listening to me and leaving and for one awful moment I thought he would. He settled into the bed next to me and I sighed, running my hand along his stubble.

"Bruce, why did you get so upset about the pregnancy test?" I didn't have to ask and he didn't answer.

"It's because you thought it was mine. You thought I was having a baby and you got so upset you almost hurt me." Bruce's face furrowed in anger, his eyes burrowing closed.

"You would be that upset if we had a baby?" I felt a pang in my heart. We'd argued before, even hurt each other, but those were a cake walk compared to this. Yes, I had walked across glass for this man, but I was beginning to wonder how much he would do for me.

I wanted children. Of course I did, years down the road I wanted to settle down and have two kids, live in the white picket fence house, and spend my days driving to soccer practice. I could feel the innate longing in my bones. I wanted a little baby with rich brown eyes and soft curls like her mamma and daddy. I wanted to watch Bruce's rough hands move delicately like he was afraid to shatter his new born child in his arms. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had known this wasn't possible that this was the one dream that Bruce wouldn't make happen.

"Bruce, you were going to hurt me." The words tasted vile in my mouth. Even with his eyes closed Banner looked away, turning his head. I grabbed his face in my hands, forcing it to face me.

"You would be that disgusted with my child?" Bruce opened his eyes to pierce my own. Brown eyes locking on brown eyes.

"We are not having a child." He said almost venomously. I pulled away from him.

"No we're not." My words were even more final than his. I moved to leave and he caught my arm, holding me there.

"Do you know what would happen if you got pregnant? If I got someone pregnant?" I sucked in a breath, taking in the consequences. Visions of a child cursed with the Other Guy plagued my mind. I shook them off and met him match for match, blow for blow.

"Yes, you would have a child."

"I would have a monster." I cringed and twisted under his meeting his eyes.

"No, you would have a child. A child who needed you and relied on you. You would be a father." I countered. Knowing I wouldn't be able to make him see.

"I could never love a child like me. I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd created a monster, that I'd passed this burden on." Tears stung my eyes at his words.

"Even if it as mine? Even if we made it together? Even if you held it in your arms and saw it's little body normal and whole. Even if you knew that you could help it gain control until you found a cure. Even if it cooed at you like a normal baby and blew raspberry kisses at your lips?" I quit struggling against his grip, letting the tears flow down my cheeks.

"I think you're wrong Bruce Banner. I think you would love your baby and it would scare the hell out of you. I think you would do anything to protect that child and you would finally understand what it feels like to love you. I think you would be too afraid to love it so you would try to run away but you can't. Because a child is a little piece of your heart running around in someone else's body. I think you're damn wrong." I turned to leave for real this time, my tears blurring my vision, but I cried out as my feet touched the ground and got back onto the bed.

Bruce gently wiped the tears from my cheeks, now mixed with those of pain.

"I want our baby so bad." At first I thought I'd imagined it, but when I looked at Bruce his eyes swam with tears. I'd never seen him cry before and it tore my heart to pieces.

"I want it so bad sometimes I think my heart is breaking, knowing I can never have a family, knowing I've dragged you into this with me." His tears slipped silently onto his pillow.

"I've always wanted a family. You unlocked that pain I kept hidden away. You brought all that pain fresh to the surface." Our tears slipped onto our bed as if sealing our fate. No conception would occur there. No child would grow in my womb.

"Bruce?" I whispered and we drew together, wiping each other's tears. "I'm happy for Tony and Pepper." He nodded, a sincere but devastated smile on his face.

"You're going to make a great Uncle." I said and then I couldn't hold it in anymore. Sobs wracked my body and I curled up against his chest as he held me while we cried, both of us knowing, Uncle would never be good enough.


End file.
